


A kiss from the moon

by Magicfingers



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Violence, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 32,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27975741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicfingers/pseuds/Magicfingers
Summary: Sofia Bones life barely started before it felt like her world was about to cave in. Maybe in a bad way, maybe in a good way. She hadn’t decided that just yet.
Relationships: Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Ginny Weasley/Original Female Character(s), Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

"Remember the rules?"

Sofia nodded, unfortunately not bothered by her mother's cold voice.

"Not to tell anyone about my illness. Don't get close to anyone. Don't make any noise or make a show out of yourself and you'll be fine."

Amelia Bones patted her daughter awkwardly on the shoulder while Sofia just stood there just as awkwardly.

"Good. I'll see you next summer then I suppose."

Her mother's face seemed to trace a bit, as if she was trying to crack a smile at her. But as Sofia smiled back at her the woman, she looked just as cold as before.

"Yes mum. See you"

And just like that her mum turned around and disappeared in too thin air. Not very unusual for her but it still made Sofia jump a bit.

"Alright, let's get on this bloody train shall we"

She muttered to herself as looked over the sea of people in front of her. Parents were hugging their children, whispering advice in their ears that they probably had heard a million times before. But still, Sofia wished she had gotten to hear that. Without thinking much more of it she rushed on the train, on her way to find the compartment were her friends usually resided.

The train corridors were packed with people and it wasn't easy for Sofia to make her way almost to end of the train, where many hufflepuffs usually sat. As she walked, she couldn't help but overhear some of the usual chatter and gossip that was going around Hogwarts. As usual, most of it was about Harry Potter and what he and his friends had been up too last semester.

"He opened up the bloody chamber of secrets I heard!"

"Yeah and that Weasly girl was in on it as well!"

All a load of bollox thought Sofia as she finally reached her compartment. With a swoosh she opened the door to find her closest friends chatting about already.

"Well I snogged his girl didn't I?"

Said zacharias smith, his mouth already full with candy.

"You are so bloody full with lies aren't you!"

Exclaimed Hannah Abbot who was staring intensely at him, trying to get him caught in his obvious lie.

"Yeah Smith, if you had snogged anyone your mom would have told me about it, we talk every night you know!"

Exclaimed Sofia as she threw herself on the seat next to Hannah. Zacharias turned pink while Hannah bursted out in laughter.

"Alright enough with the bloody mom jokes. When you visited last summer I could barely look at her when you were in the same room. It was totally weird!"

Hannah and Sofia looked at each other and giggled a bit.

"Weird of you to say that Smith, because your mom doesn't really seem to think it's uncomfortable at all!"

Said Sofia as she threw up her legs to rest on her giant suitcase that was in front of her. But she couldn't do it for very long as two new people entered the compartment. Ernie Macmillan and Susan Bones, both looking a bit flushed. Susan smiled brightly as she saw Sofia.

"Hey you! Why haven't we talked all summer?"

She said as Ernie at the same time pushed her suitcase out of the way so that they all could fit.

Sofia shrouded looking apologetic.

"Mums.. mums been all over me about studying and stuff."

Susan nodded, but she felt a bit uneasy about it since she knew her aunt very well. And her aunt was a very harsh woman.

"Could have at least let you write to me?"

Sofia dodged Susan brown eyes and answered her while staring down on the carpeted floor.

"Well you know mumsy. The woman basically locked me up and forced me to do nothing but study 24/7!"

Sofia looked up again to see Susan crack a smile.

"Anyways! Did you lot hear what Harry Potter did last semester?"

Said Hannah, who was quite invested in this Harry bloke it seemed like. When Sofia had started at hogwarts last year, Hannah couldn't stop talking about her dear Harry Potter and his grand adventures.

As her friends started chatting about Harry and this Weasly girl, Sofia's attention changed and she found herself mindlessly staring out of the compartment window, counting the students that passed their little window. Every single one seemed to look a bit the same. The Weasly twins were noticeable though, tall as they were, walking down the same corridor and knocking on doors trying to sell filibusters. And as she kept staring, she seemed to get eye contact with a pair of brown eyes. Well the eyes weren't floating, they were connected to a head with bright red hair on. But Sofia couldn't determine who it was, as the person rushed by to quickly. With red hair like that, it had to be a Weasly? Her thoughts were interrupted by Hannah punching her on the arm.

"What do you think Fia? Any new Hufflepuffs this year?"

She asked with a smile. Sofia had been one out ten new hufflepuffs last year, including Ernie. Meanwhile, Hannah who was in the year above her had a rocking five people in her year. Including Zacharias and Susan.

"Yeah I sure hope so! Hufflepuff could use some new people."

Said Sofia with a smirk.

The rest of the group looked offended.

"Oh really? Miss Sofia over here is already tired of us!"

"Only second year and she's already getting so brave!".

The only weird thing happening on their journey was that their train had stopped for a bit and the air had turned cold as ice.

"Dementors"

Had Ernie exclaimed and then he almost passed out. But no dementors had passed by their own compartment. The only trace of these dementors was Susan's water bottle, that was slowly defrosting.

As Sofia and Ernie had hoped on the carriages for their first time, there had been chatter around them of a new defense against the dark arts professor and Harry Potter almost getting kissed by a dementor. Sofia was sure that the students at this school had to be lying sometimes.

Sitting down at the tables, Sofia spoke to the other two girls in her year. Both of them were absolutely thrilled to be back another year. She liked both of the girls. Their names were Marja and Poppy, but she had somehow gotten quite attached to Ernie in her firs year. But poor Ernie was still too traumatized by these dementors to talk to her and since her other friends where third year sitting a bit down the table, she was just halfheartedly participating in the conversation happening. But, Sofia absolutely loved sitting at the Hufflepuff table. It was such a harsh contrast to the glum everyday at her own home that she had experienced this summer. Everyone was talking to everyone, everyone was friendly helping each other out with whatever little thing could be wrong at the moment. God she loved being a hufflepuff.

The sorting ceremony was unfortunately quite short for the hufflepuffs this year though, a whole six small first years had one after one wandered over to the hufflepuff table, were they had been welcomed with applauds and cheers that had been loud enough to make the poor first years blush.

"Hey Fia!"

Ernie was finally looking a bit less pale as he whispered to her.

"Yeah ern?"

He gulped and looked up from his sausages.

"Do you recon that they could see my worst fears?"

Sofia shook her head.

"No earn, seeing as there was no dementors close to our compartments even, I don't recon they saw your biggest fears."

Earnie nodded.

"Alright good"

Another girl who was sitting right next to him patted him on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about them Ernie! I bet you could take a dementor down if you had to!"

Ernie smiled at her.

"Yeah? I'd like to think so at least!"

The girl, who Sofia knew was Marja Rosegarden nodded enthusiastically and Sofia couldn't help but smile at Ernie who looked a bit more content with himself.

"Ahem"

Dumbledore was knocking on his throat, as if it was a microphone and hew wanted to see if it worked.

"Hello students! We are all in the middle of a magnificent feast right now, but I have just a few thing's that I would like to add before we continue feasting! First of all, I'd like to welcome all students back for another year at Hogwarts! To you who has already been here, I welcome you back and too you who has come here just this year, I welcome you here for the worst time! As for some unfortunate news, there will be dementors guarding Hogwarts this year! Because of the unfortunate escape of Sirius Black, they are I believe a must. We have also welcomed a new defense of the dark arts teacher to our school today! Mr Remus Lupin!"

As Dumbledore said that he pointed at a shaggy looking man that waved at the students who were looking at him.

"Anyways! Mr Filch is going to be reading the list of all things that are forbidden at this school, then you are free to continue eating!"

As soon as mr filch started reading his list, the students continued eating. Sofia on the other hand, couldn't help herself but stare a little extra at the shaggy looking man. He had a kind face but he looked weathered. Like he had been through decades and decades of grief and sadness. Sofia could after while think of why she couldn't stop looking at him. He reminded her of herself.

And while she was deep in her thoughts, she was far to preoccupied to notice a pair of brown eyes staring at her from the Gryffindor table.

Later in her dorm, Sofia was staring up at the ceiling while she was trying to fall asleep. She had never had a easy time sleeping. In fact her mother used to tell her story's about when she was a kid and she would whimper and wave her arms while she slept, as if she was trying to fight an invisible enemy. Sofia felt sad as she thought about her mother. Did she feel lonely right now? All alone in their big house. They way her mother spoke to her you would think that Sofia wouldn't care as much as she did for her mother. But she did. She was a hufflepuff after all. Sofia continued to stare up the wooden ceiling while she listened to the soft snoring of the other girls in the room. After a while, Sofia must have fallen asleep without realizing because suddenly she had been woken up by Marja saying it was time for breakfast


	2. Tears dry on their own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He walks away  
> The sun goes down  
> He takes the day, but I'm grown  
> And in your way  
> In this blue shade  
> My tears dry on their own”

The house that Sofia Bones had grown up in was a bit intimidating. It was a black tall building, surrounded by forest on almost all sides. And when you stepped close to it, it felt as if the house looked down on you.

It hadn't always felt like that, many years ago the house had felt welcoming. There had been life in it. Life that wasn't how Sofia had grown up.

See once many years ago when Amelia Bones was expecting her first child, there had been many people living in the house. Amelias two brothers, their children, her parents and of course her husband. See when the Voldemort had first started his rise to power, Amelias parents wanted the whole family together if anything were to happen. And something did indeed happen.

Because now Amelia was sitting alone in her sparsely decorated living room thinking about the past. A tear drop fell on her cheek as she thought about her daughter and all of the things she wished to say to her.

Back at Hogwarts Sofia was having a grand time. She was starting to get in to the Hogwarts rhythm, and the bad memories of the past summer were fading away more and more. Right now she was sitting in the Hufflepuff common room, listening to her friends having a heated row about quidditch.

"It's obvious isn't it!"

Basically shouted Hannah at Zacharias while they were staring each other down.

""No miss Hannah I know everything about quidditch Abbot it absolutely is not obvious, tell me why Potter is a better seeker then our own Justin. You oughta have some house pride honestly."

The common room was quiet except for Sofia's two yelling friends, as well was Sofia while she laid in one of the very comfortable couches in the room. She had stretched her lanky body over the whole couch and was enjoying having it all to herself.

"Oi, Sofia tell Smith over here how good Potter is at quidditch!"

Hannah gestured at her, her blue eyes looking a bit wild.

"Oh yeah he was very good! We saw him last night at practice and he found the snitch in like two minutes"

Said Sofia calmly as Zacharias now had a crushing expression on his face.

"They started practicing already????? Bloody hell I have to tell Poppy!"

And with that he rushed out of the common rooms while Hannah smiled, probably feeling vindictive. Finally the girl leaned down in the arm chair she was sitting in.

"Merlin is he annoying to talk to. Honestly!"

Sofia couldn't help but smirk at Hannah who looked a little flushed.

"Oh yeah. He's sooooo annoying."

Sofia turned to lay on the side so she could look at Hannah who stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't be insinuating stuff Miss Bones!"

Sofia put an arm under her head so that she could lie more comfortable.

"I couldn't I'm far to young and innocent for that."

Both of them bursted out in laughter when she said that and Sofia rolled over on her back again.

If she would define home, she would say the Hufflepuff common room. Unlike her cold and almost half empty home, the common room was warm and filled with comfortable furniture. Armchairs, sofas and all types of sitting places were there. And despite the rooms basically being underground there was always this distinct feeling of it being sunny.

"Ahhhh, stop that tickles too much!!"

A first yelled at one of the giggle plants who professor Sprout had brought in here.

"Oi you, tell the plant that you think it's jokes are bad and it will stop!"

Yelled Hannah to the girl who was wheezing with laughter.

"Thanks!"

Yelled the girl, sounding out of breath. Professor Sprout liked to bring odd plants in odd plants to the common room. Sure the air was really crisp in here but you had to her constantly vigilant so you didn't sit down next to one or accidentally sit one.

"Fia! I think I'm gonna go see were Susan went. Wanna come with?"

Sofia shook her head at Hannah's question. She was feeling tired and she was going to for a much needed nap.

"No, you go ahead. I'm gonna take a nap before dinner."

Hannah nodded and went of. Sofia yawned widely and sat up in the couch. Before she headed of to her dorm she grabbed one of the spare quilts that were always hanging in the common room. She went cold very easily these days.

In her dorm it was already messy. Clothes had been thrown on the floor and beds were unmade. There was one big full body mirror in the room who had already been clad with pictures of family and different rockstars. She had contributed as well with a picture of Tupac and biggie. Oh how she had enjoyed blasting their music this summer in the whole house as her mom was gone for work. She smiled at it and stepped a bit closer to the mirror, catching a look of the other pictures there. There was Marja with her baby sister. Both of them had two giant smiles on their faces. There was one with Nicola and her dad, standing in front of giant quidditch stadium with two green hats on their heads. Sofia smiled again and quickly looked down at her own reflection in the mirror. It was no sight for sore eye she thought and frowned at herself. Her friends were kind enough to not mention it, but her hair had turned completely grey this summer after she had only spotted a few grey strands last year. Why? Nobody knew. Apparently if a person goes through a great deal of stress they can start going grey but nobody had heard of it happening with an twelve year old before. She looked pale as well, mostly from lack of sleep. But when she looked so pale her dark eye bags became more apparent and suddenly she just looked like she was supposed to be the Hufflepuff ghost instead of a student here. Didn't help either that her eyes were so dark brown that that they almost looked black today. Sofia sighed a bit and jumped down in her bed, wrapping herself in the extra quilt as well as her normal cover. She rolled herself in to a ball and closed her eyes, ready to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is tears dry on their own by Amy Winehouse:)


	3. Tamale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamale! Tamale! Tamale! Tamale! Tamale! Tamale! Tamale! Tamale!

Sofia was nervous, Defense Against The Dark Arts had never been her strongest subject and this new teacher weirded her out a bit. It was just something about him, something that had her a bit on the edge of her seat all the time. Like she was ready to run away. Right now though, her Ernie and Marja were standing outside of the classroom waiting to be let in by professor Lupin who was starting to run late. Next to them were a group of Gryffindors who were chatting loudly with each other. Meanwhile, Ernie was pretty much just staring at his shoes. Trying to avoid Marja. Sofia knew that Ernie had been harboring a bit of a crush on her.

"So.. I heard the third year students got too see a boggart!"

Said Sofia and broke the silence.

"Oh yeah! I heard so as well, Susan told me earlier about how Nevilles looked so funny."

Ernie giggled.

"Yeah! It was professor Snape with lady clothes"

Sofia frowned though. She didn't like the idea of boggart.

"We are too young for that though? Because I'm not really-"

Before Sofia could continue with her sentence, professor Lupin opened the doors to the classroom.

"Welcome! Come on in everybody."

He said, waving for the students to take their seats in the classroom. The Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom wasn't really in Sofia's taste to be honest. It was dark, a bit clammy and there was some weird looking skeletons hanging about. It looked like professor Lupin had put an aquarium with some very weird looking fish in it as well. As all of the students sat down, Sofia finding her seat next to Ernie. Professor Lupin started speaking.

"Welcome! My name is Remus Lupin and I am your new teacher!"

Lupin looked quite excited to be their teacher as he smiled at the class. Even though he smiled, Sofia couldn't help but think about his scarred face.

"I assume that you have heard all about my boggart and such from the third years? Yeah? Well unfortunately that's not what we are doing today. I'm afraid you guys are a bit to young for that just yet!"

The class murmured disappointedly.

"But don't worry too much, we are going to do loads of fun this year as well."

And so the class went on. Professor Lupin was a very engaging teacher and he was very good keeping the students attention. In the class today they discussed all kinds of creatures and evil things you could find in nature. Sofia had learned that the weird fishy things that were living in Lupins aquarium were "Grindylows". All in all it was a good class, and all of the students were still buzzing about this new teacher when they left for herbology.

Remus Lupin couldn't help but take an extra notice to the girl. Her pale face and her tired eyes were something he recognized. Mostly he recognized it in himself. He had to speak with Dumbledore about her, he thought as he paced around his office.

"Open up wide!"

Said Sofia as she threw a Bertie Botts Bean in Marjas mouth. Marja caught it gracefully and chewed on it.

"That oughta have been rotten eggs or something! Bloody disgusting!"

Sofia smirked at her.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game!"

Marja threw her pillow at her. The game they were playing was something that they had made up in first year. You threw beans in each other's mouths and no matter the taste you had to chew and swallow it. If you didn't, you had to do the other persons homework for a week. Neither of the girls were very fond of homework so they played this game most intensely. Marja aimed carefully and threw another bean in Sofia's direction.

"Hmmmm.. tastes like strawberry."

Marja sighed dramatically.

"At this point I have to say I think your faking it."

Sofia gasped.

"Why would you accuse me of such terrible behavior!"

To be truthful, she was faking it. The bean had tasted like pig intestine really. But before they got to finish their game, three other girls stepped in to the room.

"Hello girls!"

Said Nicola, a girl with strawberry blonde hair and a beautiful face. The other two girls were named Anika and Bonnie, and it was a rare thing to see these three apart.

"Hey! Are you guys coming from the great hall? How did you like the tamales tonight?"

Said Marja as she sat up in her bed.

"I liked them! I heard they were a special request from Dumbledore so I doubt we'll have them again. But it was a nice change!"

Said Nicola who had thrown herself over her bed and was now looking through a magazine.

"Hey, what do you guys know about Ginny Weasly?"

Said Sofia on a whim. She had grown rather curious of the name as it had been spoken so manny times in the halls these past days.

All of the girls looked at her.

"You don't know who Ginny Weasly is?"

Said Anika choked.

"How can you not she's the almost spoked about person in this school!"

Said Nicola.

"Yeah! She's snogged You know who!"

All the girls laughed at Bonnies words.

"She couldn't have!"

Said Sofia.

"She did! Or at least that's the rumor, that she opened the chamber of Secrets just so that she could snog you know who!"

Said Bonnie, proud to be the one who knew the most.

"Alright I guess"

Said Sofia, letting go of the subject for the night. The way rumors spread through this school was a bit concerning at times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Tamale by Tyler the creator :)


	4. Me and my husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I steal a few breaths  
> From the world for a minute  
> And then I'll be nothing forever  
> And all of my memories  
> And all of the things I have seen  
> Will be gone  
> With my eyes with my body with me“

Sofia's first week at Hogwarts had gone by quite smoothly. The teachers had gone easy on the students the first week, and so Sofia felt even better sleeping in on Saturday morning. Or more like she would have if she didn't wake up 5:30 all by herself feeling just as sore as if she had run a marathon the night before.

Shaking slightly, she sat up in her bed with the Quist still covering her feet. She was sweating slightly, like she had a fever. But Sofia knew what it was. She had felt like this many times before. So instead of heading down to Madame Pomfreys, she instead got up from her bed while trying her hardest not to awaken Marja who slept in the bed next to her. She needed a shower. To wash off how gross she felt right now.

Sofia's legs were sore and so she had to hold on to the walls to support herself while she walked through the empty halls of Hogwarts. Usually, it was a short walk between the Hufflepuff common rooms and the showers, but today it felt like Sofia had walked an eternity before she reached the dark blue door that marked the girls bathroom. She tapped the door sixteen times with her wand and the door opened itself up, showing the white stone walls of the bathroom. It was mercifully empty, so Sofia found the closest chair and sat down on it. She rubbed her eyes with her knuckles and sighed deeply. God was she tired of being tired. When she was young she used to be so full of energy. How she would run and run and run around the acres of the Bones estate. Her mum would go crazy, the place was big and there was a lot of Forrest. Naturally her mom would be worried about her running around there. That was after all how it happened.

Sofia's thoughts were interrupted by the quiet sniffing of somebody in one of the bathroom stalls.

"Hello?"

Said Sofia carefully, trying not to spook the person who had gone quiet.

"Hi?"

Said a quiet girl voice. Sofia couldn't recognize the voice to be anybody she knew.

"Are you okay in there?"

It took a little while for the voice to reply to her.

"Yeah... I think so"

Replies the voice. Sofia frowned. The girl was obviously sad, she couldn't let be there by herself.

"Hey, why won't you come out of there and you can talk to me?"

Sofia stood standing at the light blue stall door before it opened. Out came a girl with long red hair and brown eyes. The same brown eyes that had looked back at her that day at the train. The girl had red puffy eyes this time though, she was clutching her arms around her body and breathing shallowly. Sofia instantly felt a deep sadness for the girl.

"Come here"

She extended her arms as she instantly felt a need to give the girl a hug. The redhead stepped forward reluctantly and Sofia gave her a big hug.

"I'm sorry"

The girl had sat down next to her in a chair. She was looking down at her feet.

"Whatever are you sorry for"

Replied Sofia.

"For being so awfully sad. I'm Ginny Weasley by the way, suspect you've heard of me already"

Ginny sounded very sad at the last sentence.

"Being sad is nothing to apologize for."

Said Sofia, at loss for what to say. She had heard the stories of course.

"You know.. I don't really believe in what they say. I don't believe you had anything to do with those deaths."

With that, Ginny looked up at her. With her pretty brown eyes.

"That's nice of you to say. But they are kind of true."

Sofia looked surprised.

"Really? Did you snog Voldemort as well?"

Ginny bursted out with laughter.

"Me?? No!!! That's literally the funniest thing that I have heard in a long time."

Sofia smiled at Ginny who looked a bit happier now.

"Whew! Because from what I have heard he's a rather ugly bloke!"

Ginny giggled.

"Yeah I suppose he was!"

The pair looked at each other and bursted out in laughter yet again.

"So you've seen him then? Voldemort?"

Ginny nodded.

"Yeah but it's a long story. And a rather sad one at that."

Sofia nodded understandably.

"I won't snoop around things that aren't my business!"

Ginny smiled at her yet again.

"Maybe I'll tell it to you sometime."

"Then I'll simply not listen to any rumors going around until you tell me the real story."

Ginny beamed at Sofia's words.

"I never asked what your names was?"

Sofia reached out her hand.

"Sofia Bones is the name, Hufflepuff is the game"

Ginny took her hand.

"Nice to meet you Sofia! I like your name"

Ginny got up as she said it.

"I'm gonna go and take a nap before breakfast.. but I guess I'll se you around?"

Sofia nodded, a little sad the Ginny was leaving already.

"I guess you will"

And with one last smile Ginny Weasley left the bathroom.

Later at breakfast, Ernie Macmillan was devouring his breakfast while Sofia Bones was watching with distaste. She didn't have much of an appetite. And her hair was still wet after her shower which made her shiver a bit.

"You look bad"

Said Ernie with his mouth full.

"It's rude to speak with your mouth full mr Macmillan."

Ernie gave her a crooked grin, showing the half chewed food in his mouth.

"Ewwwww, you nasty boy!"

Exclaimed Sofia, but she couldn't help but smile at his stupid ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is me and my husband by mitski:)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am just a kid  
> I never use my brain  
> I only use my heart  
> And my imagination”

Sofia and Susan Bones were laying sprawled on a blanket, on the Hogwarts school grounds. Both of them were enjoying the last summer sun like a couple of lazy cats. It was Sunday morning and most of the Hogwarts students had gathered outside, all of them fringe to catch some vitamin d before the cold autumn would come.

"Hey why won't you tell me more about your summer?"

Said Susan as she shielded her eyes with her hand.

"What do you wanna know?"

Replied Sofia and rolled over on her stomach so she could look at Susan while they talked.

"I don't know..? What did you do?"

Sofia tried her best to not reveal anything on her face, Susan was good at reading people's expressions. Especially the people close to her.

"Not much really. I was home alone a lot, mum was off doing work things most of the time. I visited Zacharias for a couple of days as well."

Susan nodded thoughtfully, her brown eyes meeting Sofias.

"Yeah I heard about your mum. She's up for that Jobb at the ministry yeah?"

Sofia nodded.

"Yup, head of the aurors or whatever they call it."

Susan smiled.

"Yeah I think that's what they call it"

Sofia laid her head down on her arms, while she could feel the back of her head getting warm from the sun.

"Do you think Hannah has a thing for Smith?"

Susan's words got Sofia's attention instantly.

"Susan you read my mind, I absolutely think she has a thing for him."

Susan's eyes widened with excitement.

"Oh I knew it! She was totally bugging last night at dinner, all she could was stare at him! While he didn't stop talking about quidditch once during the whole dinner!"

Sofia chuckled.

"I think they are not very oblivious to the whole thing"

Continued Susan while Sofia was once again resting her head on her arms. Sofia wanted to tell her cousin about Ginny Weasley and their meeting, but somehow she felt as if the whole thing was very private. Like she would breach Ginnys trust if she told her.

"You listening?"

Said Susan, a little amused over how fast her cousin could loose interest in something.

"Yeah I'm listening"

Sofia wasn't listening.

Later, Sofia was sitting squeezed in between Ernie and another boy named Sol in one of the couches in the library. Ernie was a little scared of Sol and his green mohawk so when he had seen Sofia he had instantly pulled her down so she could sit between them. Sol wasn't a mean boy at any means, Sofia even quite like his strange hair.

"Hey Bones, do you think that your cousin would ever date me?"

Said Sol and threw an arm around Sofia, the same time as he threw his magical history book in his lap.

"I think it's as possible as Snapes hair not being greasy one day."

She looked at the boy who had a smirk on his face. Sol had a little scar that went from his top lip to the bottom of his nose who looked a bit funny when he smiled. She wondered how he got that.

"Well then tell her to call me when-"

"Hey! Are you two really studying over there?"

Sol got interrupted by a six year Hufflepuff named Cedric.

"Yessir!"

Said Sol and saluted. He picked up his book again and buried his nose in it. Cedric shook his head.

Most of the younger Hufflepuffs were actually in the library today, this because of an initiative started by some of the older students a year ago where they would help they younger ones study. Today it was some bloke named Cedric who was helping them, but he would mostly just tell them to read and then go talk to some girl named Leanna. A bit of player that one thought Sofia. And bloody hell was it boring. She looked at Ernie, who was using his book as a shield so Sol wouldn't look at him.

Sofia nudged Ernie. He peaked over his book carefully. Only his brown eyes were visible.

"Let's scat."

Said Sofia and Ernie nodded. Carefully they sneaked out of the library while avoiding all the creaky floorboards like seasoned pros.

There was a few students walking through the halls, talking and laughing. The portraits on the walls were having fun as well. Ernie and Sofia walked past a portrait of a gathering of monks having a tea party with a donkey. The two friends walked up and down the halls of the castle while talking about everything and nothing.

"Hey do you think Marja likes me?"

Said Ernie all of the sudden.

"I don't know"

Said Sofia thoughtfully. Marja was good at hiding her emotions while they talked about that stuff.

"Do you like any of the boys?"

Said Ernie carefully. They usually didn't talk about stuff like this so it felt a little weird.

"No..? Don't think so at least? How do you know you like someone?"

Said Sofia and Ernie went quiet for a while.

"I think.. maybe if you think their hair is pretty?"

Sofia laughed at his words, but she couldn't help but think of Ginny Weasleys pretty ginger hair. At the same time Ernie was thinking about Marja Rosegarden and her pretty black curls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is kids by current joys :)


	6. Looking out for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I guess I should stop  
> Looking out for you  
> Like I always do  
> When will you  
> Start looking out for me too  
> Instead of leaving me staring at my shoes”

Tuesday right after herbology was the next time Sofia talked to Ginny Weasley. Sofia was sweaty, tired and full with scratches from the very mean Mandrake that she had been fighting all class long. She had even stayed behind a little to help professor Sprout clean up after class which was why she was walking back to the castle by herself now. Ginny on the other hand looked very well put together and had a smile on her face when she saw Sofia.

"Fancy seeing you out here!"

Said Sofia and Grinned. Ginny stopped and waved for the two friends with her to continue walking without her.

"I could say the same! It's not like we go to the same school or anything?"

Said Ginny and looked amused.

"Oh no definitely not! So I must say that this is very strange"

Said Sofia and tried to look serious as she spoke.

"Oh yeah? Well I heard that only proper looking students are allowed to go to this school so how did you get in?"

Said Ginny and pointed at Sofia's half torn up uniform and her scratched face, she didn't do it in a malicious way though. This was more playfully teasing her if anything.

"Comeback to me after you've been to herbology. Those mandrakes will break your spirit."

Ginny laughed at her words.

"Oh I was there last week actually, thought they were kind of cute!"

Sofia gaped.

"Cute..???? Ginny Weasley that's the strangest thing you have ever said to me ever! And he haven't even talked that much"

Ginny chuckled and went to pull out a leaf from Sofia's hair. The movement made Sofia jump a little but Ginny didn't seem to pay much notice to that. Instead she showed her a big green leaf in her hand.

"Maybe the mandrakes can sense that you don't like them"

Said Ginny, still with the leaf in her hand.

"Oi you sound exactly like professor Sprout!"

Replied Sofia, while feeling very skeptical too Ginnys words.

"Maybe so! But I don't see the issue in that"

Said the redhead as she started moving down the hall again.

"See you around Sofia Bones. Take care of your plants!"

Said Ginny and waved goodbye to Sofia who was standing there quite dumbstruck.

"See you"

Replied Sofia, but Ginny was already to far away to hear her. What a strange girl, though Sofia as she started walking towards the common rooms.

"Oi you kind of look like shit!"

Those were the welcoming words that Sofia heard from Zacharias Smith as she entered the commons. He was lounging on a armchair, Hannah and Susan sitting on the couch next to him.

"Shut up stupid"

Was all Sofia thought to say as her conversation with Ginny was still on her mind. She flopped down in the couch between Susan and Hannah.

"Ahhh, I may be stupid but at least.. at least I'm not"

Zacharias struggled to find the right word.

"You alright?"

Asked Susan while Zacharias was still struggling to find the right words.

"Yeah, we were just repotting mandrakes today in herbology"

Susan nodded in understanding.

"At least I'm not grey haired!"

Said Zacharias triumphantly and pointed at his brown braids. Sofia just looked at him.

"Alright that wasn't the best"

Said Zacharias and yawned. Susan shook her head in disapproval.

"Anyways! You missed the weirdest thing"

Said Susan, now looking a bit exited.

"Yeah, apparently Sirius Black has been in the castle!"

Continued Hannah. Sofia couldn't help but jump a bit at her words. Black? In Hogwarts? It couldn't be? Could it?

"But how? I thought nobody could ever get in to Hogwarts if Dumbledore didn't want them too?"

Hannah nodded and looked solemn.

"Yeah we thought so too, but apparently he has been here. The portrait that hangs outside the gryffindor common room was all scratched up. Like somebody wanted to get in there"

Said Susan, looking a bit disappointed.

"But why would he want to get in to there?"

Said Sofia feeling a bit confused.

"Oh you haven't heard? Apparently Sirius Black and Harry Potters dad were close!"

Said Hannah, as always she knew all of the rumors and gossip going around.

"Oh, weird."

Said Sofia not really knowing what to say.

"To make a long story short, Sirius Black has been in the castle and we are now not supposed to leave are commons after dinner."

Said Susan.

"Oh.. How boring"

Replied Sofia's as she thought about a certain Gryffindor that she wouldn't mind talking too.

"Yeah! And Ernie had a full blown panic attack about the whole thing!"

Exclaimed Zacharias who had been quiet upon till now.

"Huh? Is he okay?"

Said Sofia and she instantly felt sad for her anxious friend.

"Yeah he's alright, Marja went with him to the hospital wing to get some anti anxiety potion."

Sofia nodded, the sound of her friends chatting sounding far away as she thought about Ernie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is looking out for you by Joy Again :)


	7. Bloom later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Where you goin'? I'm too fast  
> You say whatchu doin'? Don't do that  
> Never been a liar, baby, I'm a lilac and you are my sun  
> And every season I need you to keep glowing”

Hogwarts had been on edge for the past days. Everyday there was chatter about Sirius Black and all of his death eater friends that he would be bringing to Hogwarts. Sofia didn't know what to think of it really. She knew her mum must be working a lot because she hadn't gotten her weakly letter yet. That didn't worry her much, her mum worked a lot and the letters were often very short and factual anyways. The light tapping of a quill towards paper disturbed her thoughts.

She was sitting the opposite of Ernie in the common room and he was looking more anxious then usual. His black curls were shuffled around and he had dark circles under his green eyes. Ernie was staring out, looking at nothing in particular while he mindlessly tapped his quill on the paper leaving little black dots. Sofia felt for her friend. They had been been pretty much cooped up in their common rooms since a week ago when black had been in the castle. Only leaving for classes and food. Sofia thought it was alright, all of her friends were Hufflepuffs anyways and she quite liked the spacious common room. Ernie on the other hand was not doing that alright. The thought of dementors and Sirius Black sneaking around the castle had made her friend quiet, sad and not at all like the regular Ernie.

"Hey!"

Sofia waved her hand in front of Ernies face.

"You okay?"

Ernie said nothing and just nodded.

"You are obviously not okay mate, I'm gonna keep buggering until you tell me what's buggering you!"

Sofia thought her wordplay was very funny and so she smirked a bit.

"Your buggering me"

Said Ernie, his voice hoarse.

"That's right! I sure am, tell me more"

Sofia smiled at her friend, trying to lighten him up.

"I don't know what's wrong.. I just feel so very on edge all the time. Like I'm constantly afraid of something?"

Said Ernie with a sigh.

"What are you afraid of?"

Replied Sofia.

"I don't wanna say that"

Said Ernie and purses his lips together.

"Fine! You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. It's just depressing to see you walking around all sad all the time"

Sofia said, not really liking how harsh she sounded, supposedly that was a bad habit that she had picked up from her mum.

"Well.. I'm sorry about that, it's just.. I don't how to explain everything. Maybe I'll tell you in the future."

Said Ernie carefully.

"You don't have to be sorry Ern. I would very much like if you wanted to tell me about it in the future"

Replied Sofia diplomatically. They sat in silence for a bit after that. Sofia kept re reading the same page in her magical history book. She could not for the life of her understand why Ernie was so closed up about things like this. Sofia and him had done far more embarrassing things then telling each other their worst fears. During first year she had seen him puke three times and she had held his hand when they were getting sorted in to their houses because he had told her how afraid of ghosts he were. She knew him so well so she couldn't understand why he would hide anything from her.

"I recon we should head down to potions now"

Said Ernie, sounding a bit less hoarse. Sofia huffed when she got up, feeling tense and sore all over. She hadn't slept well at all last night and she must have been staring at the wooden ceiling for at least three hours before she fell asleep. It didn't help that this was the day that Sofia's least favorite subjects were scheduled. First thing in the morning they had Defense Against The Dark Arts with a very gloomy looking professor Lupin. He had looked every bit as terrible as Sofia felt, which made her worry about how terrible she must be looking. At least she had gotten a glimpse of Ginny in the class, she had been smiling all class long and laughing at one of her friends jokes. This made Sofia irrationally angry for some reason. Maybe she didn't like seeing happy people when she herself was so miserable.

Ernie and Sofia had walked/jogged their way down to the dungeons. They had left the common rooms a bit too late and were now in danger of running late to Snapes class. The sour looking man had a thing for giving everybody detention for the smallest things. So, when they entered the gloomy potions classroom the two friends were breathing heavily. The whole class were staring at them, as if they had interrupted them.

"Nice of you two to want to join us today!"

Said Snape while a few Slytherins snickered.

"I recon that's detention for you Miss Bones!"

Said Snape and pointed towards an empty bench, as to hint for them to sit down.

"But professor? I was late-"

Sofia punched Ernie on the arm before he could continue with his sentence.

"Do you want the detention???"

She whispered to him, while Snape didn't bother to reply to his question. Ernie shook his head passionately. Detention with Snape was widely known around Hogwarts to be the absolute worts punishment. But still Ernie whispered in her ear.

"Thought it was unfair for you to be alone"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Bloom Later by Jesse Rutherford :)


	8. Ghost town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Some day we gon' set it off  
> Some day we gon' get this off  
> Baby, don't you bet it all  
> On a pack of Fentanyl  
> You might think they wrote you off  
> They gon' have to rope me off  
> Some day the drama'll be gone  
> And they'll pray, it's not enough  
> Sometimes I take all the shine  
> Talk like I drank all the wine  
> Years ahead but way behind  
> I'm on one, two, three, four, five  
> No half-truths, just naked minds  
> Caught between space and time  
> This not what we had in mind  
> But maybe some day”

Fall was creeping up on Hogwarts right now. It was taking its claim of the trees, making them all turn in too lovely shades of red and yellow. But that also meant that Hogwarts was colder, that was the bad thing about going to school in a very old school it got very drafty.

That was something Sofia could feel an extra amount as she walked through the halls on her way to detention with Snape. She was bundled up with three jumpers, one hat and about three pairs of gloves. And yet she could still feel the ice cold wind puffs hit her as she walked. Marja had looked at her like she was crazy when Sofia left the dorm.

"Why don't you just jog there?"

Had the girl said, while laying in her bed looking very smug that she wasn't the one going to late night detention with Snape. Sofia had thought she was crazy saying that at the moment. But right now she was thinking that maybe Marja had the right idea. But, her knees made a very worrying sound as she tried to pick up her pace, so unfortunately she had to walk in the cold.

Sofia felt lucky that it wasn't completely dark out yet, so that when she entered the dungeons there was still some light seeping in from the tiny windows. Otherwise she would have absolutely despised going down there. The sun was setting though, so she had to hurry.

Well there, Sofia entered the very dark potions classroom. It seemed as Snape had purposely cover the tiny windows. Only a few candle lights lit up the spooky classroom.

"Your late"

Said voice from further in the classroom. Sofia hurried towards it.

"Yes, I'm very sorry. I was a bit too tired to jog here."

She was now standing in front of professor Snapes desk, where he was sitting like a grumpy old bat. A small blue vial sat in front of him though, as Sofia expected.

"Jog? God just drink the thing and don't talk anymore."

Sofia nodded and took the vial. Without thinking too much about it she downed the whole thing. If you thought too much about what you were drinking it felt like rotten milkshake going down your throat. Sofia had made that mistake before. Snape nodded approvingly at her.

"Good. Let's go"

And with that he ushered her towards a very dark part of the potions classroom, the part where there was a giant silvery door looming over Sofia. Snape opened the door, and made a few movements with his wand. Sofia stood there for a moment as she looked in to the disgusting dark room. There was dirty tiles covering the floor, walls and ceiling. Making it feel like a mental institution. And there was a tiny window right at the top of the right wall, where the last daylight was coming down.

"Go on then! What's there to wait for?"

Snape pushed her in to the room, he gave her one last cold Snape glare before he closed the heavy door behind her with a thud.

It was only going to be minutes now, thought Sofia as she sat down on the ice cold floor, goose bumps went up her back as she felt the cold stone through her clothes. Despite the cold, she leaned towards the wall and sighed. The last daylight was hitting her face as she closed her eyes. Her conscious was burning now, she felt so bad that she lied so much to her friends. She thought of how much of dirty awful liar she was as she sat and waited. And in the privacy of the empty room, a few tears started trickling down Sofia's cheeks. She wasn't a true hufflepuff. She was a bad person. A memory of her mum popped in to her head. A memory of her mum proudly holding up her old Hufflepuff scarf and smiling proudly at it. She was never going to make her mum proud.

And suddenly from the middle of nowhere her mind went quiet. Sofia looked towards the widow where she saw that it was now dark out. It was time. She shifted around uncomfortably and laid down on the floor. Sofia hugged her knees tightly as the light from the full moon started shining down on her. Her bones were cracking, her teeth becoming longer and her hair thicker. Despite the potion she had drank earlier, she couldn't help but Yelp in pain as she started convulsing on the floor. But the pain was quick, it disappeared as soon as the big grey wolf was standing there. The wolf was a sorrowful sight to see, as soon as Sofia had changed she had pushed her canine body up towards the wall furthest away from the big silver door.

And that's how Sofia Bones spent her first full moon at Hogwarts, whimpering with sadness in a cell below Hogwarts while the potions teacher was carefully listening for any sign of anything going wrong.

On the other side of Hogwarts, in the Huffluepuff third year girl dorm there was only one person awake. Susan Bones was tossing and turning in her bed, finding it difficult to fall asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about her cousin and the suffering she was going through right now. See Susan was a very empathetic person and she often had a hard time with people suffering. But she was also a very trustworthy person, why is why she three years ago had been entrusted with the secret that was her cousin's Lycanthropy. And she had carried that secret with dignity. She was her cousins secret keeper and with that she took much pride. But that pride also kept her up on the nights of the full moon.

This one memory of two years ago often played in her mind. On a full moon two years ago Sofia had spent the night at her cousins. Her poor cousin had been looked in their attic all night long and Susan had l'aide in her bed just as she did now. All while listening too the sad howls of the wolf above her, Susan had thought back then that she would do anything to fix the broken heart that this wolf seemed to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is ghost town by Kanye West and partynextdoor :)


	9. I’m not angry anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I'm not angry anymore  
> Well, sometimes I am  
> I don't think badly of you  
> Well, sometimes I do  
> It depends on the day  
> The extent of all my worthless rage  
> I'm not angry anymore”

The day after a full moon was often a very grim affair for Sofia. She woke up in the cold cell, with bruises and small scratches all over her. Her whole body was shivering with exhaustion and she felt as she had never been this tired before in her life. Still shaking, she managed to put her clothes back on. As per usual she knocked weakly on the massive silver door, as to signal Snape that she was awake.

"Finished"

Said the man with a blank facial expression. Sofia just nodded while holding herself up on the doorframe.

"We'll hop up to hospital wing then."

Said Snape, and then instantly started walking out to the potions classroom. He paid no notice to Sofia who was walking painfully slow. Every step she took felt like hell on earth.

Snape had sat down by his desk, his nose already buried in a book when Sofia was out of the hallway that led in to the classroom. It took her an awful ten minutes to make her way to the classroom. She had to take small breaks all the time to lean on chairs and desks. Her breathing felt shallow and it never felt like she got enough oxygen in when she breathed.

"Bye then"

Muttered Sofia as she left the classroom. Snape was an asshole. Ever since her first year he had done the absolute most to show her how much he hated helping her. At least he did it though. The full moons would be thousand times worse without the potion he made without failure for her every month.

Sofia was sweating now, the hard work of making her way from the dungeons to the hospital wing had taken its toll on her and her breathing was even more jagged. She had to sit, was the only thought in her head. So she leaned one of the walls and slid down, sitting on the ice cold stone floor. She hugged her knees and buried her head in her lap. There was no tears coming from her eyes, but she still felt a heartbreaking sadness from her current state. She was miserably helpless right now, and she felt as nobody in the world could understand her. Maybe her mum had been right. There was nothing good about her.

Her terrible thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"Sofia? Is that you?"

Sofia froze at the sound of the clear voice. It was Ginny Weasley. Oh lord what would she think of her??? Sofia looked up at the red headed girl who was standing right in front of her now. Ginny had a green bathrobe on and a brown towel was wrapped around her hair. Sofia grimaced at her.

"Heyyyy"

Said Sofia, trying to sound normal.

"You alright?"

Asked Ginny with a frown.

"Me? Yea I'm absolutely amazing! Was just on a morning walk!"

Nodded Sofia and tried to stand up on her wobbly legs. She failed miserably, feeling like the whole world was spinning. But just as she was about to fall down again, Ginny Weasley had grabbed her arm.

"Yeah you seem great honestly, the hospital wing is just a few corridors down and I'm gonna walk you there."

Sofia couldn't do anything but nod, she was still feeling sick to her stomach. But fortunately Ginny was very steady, she seemed to do fine with almost dragging Sofia with her. But after walking just a little while, the towel Ginny had around her hair fell down to the floor and they had to stop. The flowery smell of Ginnys shampoo might have been nice if Sofia wasn't so sensitive, now she was about ready to puke.

She leaned at the wall, while Ginny picked up her towel and closed her eyes. She opened them again as she felt a cold hand on her sweaty forehead.

"My mum always does this to me when I'm sick."

She said, patting Sofia's face now with both of her cold, seemingly unaware of Sofia's blush.

"Alright just lean on me and we are almost there."

Sofia took a grip on Ginnys arm again as they continued their walk. She was basically stumbling forward at this point, but Ginny didn't pay much notice to it, she just continued to let Sofia hang on to her as they walked forward. Ginny was silent as well, seeming to understand that Sofia wasn't the best conversational partner right now.

After a little while they had reached the clean and empty hospital wing. Ginny furrowed her brows as she couldn't see madam Pomfrey anywhere. "Alright, sit down here and I'll go look after Pomfrey."

Ginny pushed Sofia towards the hospital bed that was closest to the door while Sofia weakly tried to protest.

"No.. you've done too much alr-"

"Don't say another word Sofia"

Interrupted Ginny, and then walked away. Ginny could see the red headed girls green hair bounce on her back as she walked decisively towards Pomfreys office. Ginny knocked on the door and a few seconds later there stood a disheveled madam Pomfrey with a funny looking sleeping hat on her head. Ginny said something to her and Pomfrey looked at Sofia's direction, instantly looking worried. A few seconds later she came over with a terribly worried expression on her face.

"Oh poor girl! I'm sorry I wasn't awake I wasn't expecting you here so early."

She put a hand on Sofia's forehead the same way Ginny had do.

"Oh! Your positivity burning up! This will not do, professor Snape should have walked you up here. Thank god Ginny found you."

The grey haired woman was now hurrying around the room and pulling different potions and stuff from different shelves. Sofia's vision was getting blurry with fever and so she could barely see Ginny waving goodbye to her and madam Pomfrey pushing her away to back of the room. She was fast asleep not long after Pomfrey had forced her too drink a terribly tasting sleeping draught. All while she was muttering things about Snape. Sofia could only catch one or two things that she said.

"No morals that one."

"Could have died! A student could have died and the man does nothing!...."

The rest of the day was a blur for Sofia. She had a vague idea that somebody had been talking by her bed. But her eyes hadn't been open long enough for her to see anyone. She woke a few times, and Pomfrey had forced her to drink some absolutely horrid things. But mostly she was just heavily asleep for almost two full days before she woke up.

It was Saturday morning when Sofia opened her eyes to almost instantly be blinded by the brightly white hospital ceiling.

"Good morning Bones"

Welcomed a hoarse voice her from her right side. Sofia turned her head to find to her surprise a very tired looking professor Lupin sitting by her bed. He had bags under his eyes and he gave her only the tiniest smile as she looked at him.

"How are you feeling?"

Asked the man after they had been quiet for a little while just looking at each other. Sofia took a while to respond. She felt alright now. Her body was heavy like it was after sleeping for a very long time but she didn't have a fever anymore and she wasn't very cold either.

"I'm alright I think."

Lupin nodded at her response.

"Me too"

Sofia stared at him for a while before she realized. How could she be this stupid. He had been behaving just as she had. Looking sick about a week before the full moon and now sitting here by her bed looking exactly as she probably did right now.

"So your the same as me"

Said Sofia factually and Lupin nodded, his mouth twitching like he was about to smile.

"Yes I am. Your a smart one you."

They sat quiet for a while again after that, but not in a uncomfortable way, Sofia felt more like Lupin knew that she had to process this for a while. She wasn't that shocked to be truthful. It was just weird. A part of her had known since the welcoming feast, she knew that now.

"I don't know what to say really? This feels proper weird"

Said Sofia after a while.

"That's alright, you don't have to say anything, I just wanted to check up on you."

The professor smiled at her with his tired eyes.

"Where do you turn?"

Blurted Sofia out, somehow that was what she was most wondering about right now.

"In my office, you?"

Said Lupin simply.

"The dungeons"

Replied Sofia darkly. Lupin nodded thoughtfully about this.

"Are you a violent wolf? I know you get the wolf sane potion but some it doesn't work on"

Asked Lupin.

"I used to be. When I was little my mum told me that I would try and bite my own paws of. She said I was very angry as a child."

It was weird to talk about, since the period after Sofia had been bitten was so hazy to her but her mum had told her a lot about it.

"Are you still angry?"

Asked the professor, not fazed by her words.

"Sometimes I am. Depends on the day I guess. But these day's I'm mostly unharmed after the full moon."

It felt weird for Sofia to say this, as she couldn't even really remember that she had been like that.

"That's good to hear Sofia, since I was planning on asking you if you would like to spend the full moons with me from now on?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is interlude: I’m not angry anymore by Paramore :)


	10. Where is my mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ” With your feet on the air and your head on the ground  
> Try this trick and spin it, yeah  
> Your head will collapse  
> If there's nothing in it  
> And you'll ask yourself
> 
> Where is my mind?  
> Where is my mind?  
> Where is my mind?  
> Way out in the water  
> See it swimming”

Sofia had a lot on her mind as she left the hospital wing that day. Professor Lupins offer was nagging on her brain as she couldn't really stop thinking about it. Changing in to a wolf in front of anyone was something that she just simply could not imagine. It was something that felt very forbidden. But still, spending yet another night in that disgusting cell with the giant silver door was something that Sofia was simply not looking forward too. She shuddered at the memory. And oh how she would love to not see Snapes ugly face so often.

Sofia couldn't stop thinking about Ginny either, she had some very vague memories of what had happened thanks to her fever. But she did know that the girl had picked her up while she looked like shot without complaining or asking too many questions. She had to thank her when she saw her again. That she knew.

Something else that was nagging her right now was what she was going to say to her friends. During her first year at Hogwarts she had come up with countless of excuses to tell them. And since Susan knew what was really going on she would always back her up without question. Because that's what Susan did. And every time she told someone who's sled to many questions to mind their business and shot Sofia one of her reassuring smiles, Sofia would swell with love for her beloved cousin.

Sofia was now walking through the last hallway between her and the Hufflepuff common rooms. It smelled vaguely with food and there was worn out carpets covering the wooden floors. Technically the Hufflepuff common room was just as underground as the dungeons but the feeling here was totally different. Sofia felt more warm, comforted and relaxed as she walked towards a couple of innocent looking barrels standing at the end of the hallway. Sofia tapped the barrel that was two from the bottom and in the middle of the second row with her wand. In her head she sounded out "helga hufflepuff". The barrels opened themselves up, showing a sloping earthy passage that led down to common room. Sofia stepped in happily.

Some irrational part of her sometimes worried that she wasn't enough Hufflepuff and that she one day would just be rejected from entering the room. So every time it opened up to her she felt quite excited.

Sofia walked for a little bit, then she finally entered the round room. She couldn't help but stand still for a few seconds as she looked over it. There were groups of students sitting in different areas of the room, chatting, playing chess or reading a book. One first year looked to be having an animated conversation with Helga Hufflepuffs portrait and a sixth year was showing of his broom to a couple of girls in one area. Sofia recognized the guy to be Cedric Diggory, the same guy who was usually no good help in the library. She frowned, but a smile crept back up on her face again as she spotted her friends sitting by a group of sofas looking particularly corny. Susan was currently balancing an enormous book on her head while Zacharias cheered her on. Hannah was sitting upside down in the sofa, her blonde hair touching the floor and her feet moving in the air as if she was listening to a song. Ernie was just sitting in an arm chair right by them, but he looked more content then Sofia had seen him in a few weeks.

"Oi! Bones! Your back!"

Yelled Zacharias at her while he stopped cheering.

"Yup! And I see you aren't less stupid"

Said Sofia jokingly. Susan had been caught of guard by Sofia suddenly entering the room and so she dropped the book from her head with a a heavy thud.

"Shit!"

Yelled Susan angrily while Sofia squeezed in between them in the sofa.

"Ha! Now you owe me whatever I want from Honeydukes on our next hogsmead visit!"

Said Zacharias triumphantly and grinned at Sofia.

"Susan was getting bold and told me she could balance a book on her head for twenty minutes without dropping it because her posture was so good. And I told her no way your that good, so we did a bet!"

Zacharias said without taking a single breath. That was a different kind of magic.

"Well that's on you then."

Said Sofia to her sour looking cousin who wasn't used to loosing bets like this.

"Haha"

Said Susan not very happy.

"Haha indeed!"

Said Zacharias with a grin on his face.

"Where were you anyways?"

Asked Ernie from his chair all of a sudden. Sofia tensed up a bit as she met his thoughtful eyes.

"I was in the hospital wing, caught a nasty cold from one of Snapes potions in detention"

Susan nodded enthusiastically beside her.

"It's true I visited her."

Sofia instantly felt a wave of relief towards a cousin. Bless Susan's solid loyalty towards her.

"Alright then, wish you could have told me"

Exclaimed Ernie with a frown.

"I know that was very rude of me, I swear on my life that it will never happen ever again dad!"

Said Sofia dramatically as the others broke out in a laughter. Even Ernie himself cracked a grin. Even Hannah who was on the floor now had opened her eyes from her weird meditation.

That night Sofia had vivid dreams. It started of in the potions classroom and Snape was standing on her chest with both his feet. He grinned menacing at her.

"I'm gonna jump now"

Said dream Snape and jumped at her chest. But Sofia managed to roll away from him before he could land only to face two giant amber eyes. A giant grey wolf was laying by her her side and looked at her with interest. Then the wolf opened it's jaws and spoke.

"You have a choice"

Said the wolf with a booming voice and suddenly the dream transformed. She was standing in a dream like mountain landscape. Pink clouds were floating around her and she could see a large blue castle somewhere in the distance. This was a good place could Sofia feel. But suddenly her senses started tingling, it felt as if somebody was standing right behind her. And with that she woke up, sitting straight up in her bed while breathing heavily.

"Bloody hell"

Muttered Sofia and then she fell back asleep again instantly.

The next morning she was sitting at the breakfast table with Marja, Ernie and another girl named Nicola. Marja looked pretty thought Sofia as she was staring mindlessly at her surroundings. The girl had a red headband on her bouncy black curls, who stood in sharp contrast to her grey eyes. Marja was having a conversation with Nicola about something that had happened while Sofia had been gone and Ernie was golfing down his breakfast. Sofia looked over too the teachers table only to find professor Lupin getting ready to leave.

"I'm just gonna have quick chat with Lupin about a missing assignment!"

Said Sofia to Ernie who had his mouth full with fried potatoes. She had to jog a little to catch up with the man.

"Professor!"

Lupin turned around when he heard her voice and gave her smile.

"Hello miss Bones! What can I help you with?"

Sofia knew what she wanted now, despite some parts of her yelling that this was the wrong idea.

"I wanna trie out that thing you offered me? You know... next month!"

Lupin nodded. He knew exactly what she meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is where is my mind by pixies :)


	11. Bad Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ When you were eight and you had bad traits  
> You go to school and learn the golden rule  
> So why are you acting like a bloody fool?  
> If you get hot, you must get cool”

"BAD BOYS BAD BOYS WHATCHA GONNA DO? WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU? BAD BOYS BAD BOYS WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU?"

Sofia sighed as Sol belted his heart out while singing. They were walking the grounds of Hogwarts right now, Sol with his skateboard in a thought grip and singing his heart out. They were currently slicing of potions after Sol had accidentally spilled out his potion and caused a hole in the ground where it had been spilled. So Sol and his partner which had been Sofia had been sent out to the grounds to look for ingredients out in the wild. And they weren't to stop until they found them all. This was an impossible task so Sol and Sofia were just walking around not doing anything really.

"BAD BOYS BAD BOY... Sofia why aren't you singing?"

The boy nudged Sofia with his board as to signal that she needed to sing as well.

"Bad boys.. bad boys... bad boys.."

Sang Sofia reluctantly and Sol laughed loudly. He had a funny laugh, like a wheezing sound. It sounded almost exactly like that noise when something gets stuck in your throat and you can't breath.

"Come on Sofia! You can do better then that I know it! Singing is better then doing nothing which I think we'll be doing for a long time"

Sol linked his arm with Sofias and did a little dance with his feet. This boy had a lot of energy though Sofia, every movement he made gave a feeling that he was going to explode with energy if he didn't move soon.

"BAD BOYS... come on now.. BAD BOYS BAD BOYS."

Sang Sol yet again and pulled Sofia in to a weird dance.

"Alright! BAD BOYS BAD BOY, WHATCHA GONNA DO? WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU?"

Sang Sofia finally and started dancing as well. Sol beamed with Joy as the two friends did their weird little dance under a purple fall sky. It was getting dark out and the cold air was not biting. It was a bit to walk up to the castle now, they were all the way down at greenhouse 7 at this point.

"BAD BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

Sang both Sol and Sofia in unison as a big finale of their singing number. Sols arms where stretched and when they finished he made a big theatrical bow as if they were preforming at a theater. Sofia giggled at him.

"You have a very strong voice Sol!"

Said Sofia and looked at the green haired boy. His mow hawk wasn't spiked up today and laid as a mess on his head. His nose and cheeks were just as red as Sofia suspected hers was as well from the cold.

"I know! I've been complimented on it many times!"

Said the boy with a grin.

"But let's head out of here now, it's bloody freezing innit?"

Asked Sol with a grimace on his face. And he was correct. It was bloody freezing out and Sofia's hands were getting numb at this point.

"Yeah let's do that."

And so the two started making their way up to the lit up castle. The warm light coming from the windows were a welcoming sight and Sofia felt very excited for dinner.

"You know we can't go to the great hall right?"

Said Sol, making Sofia crash down from her dinner thoughts.

"Why?? I'm honest to god starving right now!?!?"

Said Sofia.

"Well it's obviously because Snapes there. I still think he thinks we are out there looking for ingredients."

Answered Sol like it was obvious.

"Fuck! I'm hungry as shit!"

Said Sofia angrily and Sol chuckled.

"The language on you! Bloody hell i didn't think you knew those words!"

Said Sol with laughter in his voice as Sofia frowned at him.

"Why wouldn't I know swear words? I'm not bloody stupid am I?"

Sofia felt her temper rising now and she didn't like it.

"No, 'course your not stupid. I just thought you were too posh to swear."

Said Sol, unaffected by Sofia's angry tone.

"Hmpf"

Was all Sofia answered as they continued their walk.

"Let's just nick something from the kitchen yeah?"

Said Sol after a while, they close to the castle now and the sky was now almost completely dark.

"The kitchens? How do you get in there?"

Answered Sofia.

"Oh you just tickle a pear! Believe me this will save you from your hunger."

Said Sol to her with a grin as they were now right outside the castle doors.

"Alright show the way then?... tickle a pear.."

The last bits Sofia muttered too herself as Sol started dragging her with him down towards the hufflepuff common rooms.

Spending time with this boy was wild, thought Sofia as they walked through the almost completely empty castle. Because there was something almost a bit manic about Sol as he walked. She couldn't pin point exactly what it was but sometimes he felt a bit off. Not in a bad way or anything. It was just something about him that didn't make sense to Sofia.

"Right here!"

Said Sol as they stopped in the same hallway that led to the Hufflepuff common rooms. In front of them was a big painting of a fruit bowl that Sofia had passed many times without thinking much about it. But Sol looked like a seasoned pro as he stretched toward the painting and started ticking the pear in the bowl. It a minute or so before the fruit started giggling loudly. And to Sofia's surprise the painting swung open to reveal an enormous kitchen.

"Right this way then!"

Said Sol happily and waved for Sofia to follow him in to the kitchen.

It was a very cozy looking place. Fires were going in every corner, every kitchen space was polished to perfection and there was massive piles of food on the tables. And when the house elves noticed Sol and Sofia walking through the doors a number of them came to greet them.

"Master Sol is back!"

"He brought a girl!"

"Quick bring food?"

Sol was grinning at Sofia and then looked at the elves.

"Hello, I was thinking we could get some food? My friend and I are very hungry you see!"

Said Sol to the elves who started running around instantly. And before Sofia knew it Sol was carrying a variety of foods in his arms. He even had to tell some of the elves no because they kept pushing stuff on him.

"Thank you, thank you! This was very nice of you"

Said Sol to elves that all bowed to him. Some of them even bowed so deeply that their small heads touched the floor. Sofia did nothing but stare in surprise at him.

"Open the door will you?"

Said the boy and nodded at Sofia to open the kitchen door.

"Wha?? How did you know how to do that?"

Asked Sofia in awe as they walked out of the hallway.

"It's a long story really. But to make it short, I was in detention last year one evening with Lee Jordan. You know that Gryffindor bloke? Yeah well he told me he was hungry and then he went and showed me this place. He was really cool"

Answered Sol nonchalantly.

"Wow"

Replied Sofia.

"Where are we even going to eat all this?"

Asked Sofia, still feeling a bit in awe of Sol.

"Oh don't worry I know a place"

Answered Sol with yet another grin.

And just as Sol had said, he knew a place. In a little side hallway there was a thin door who laid hidden in the shadows. That door led too a small room with a few old dusty armchairs and a very old coffee table. There wasn't much light in there except for two flickering candles by the door.

"Welcome too the finest place in the castle.. I think it's a forgotten storage space or something."

Said Sol as he dumped the food on the table and flipped down in one of the armchairs, making a cloud of dust coming out from it.

"It's cool"

Said Sofia and sat down in the chair next to him. She picked up a turkey sandwich and took a bite.

"Yeah.. I think ghosts like this place though, the fat friars floated in here once when I was skipping charms and told on me."

Sofia held down a laugh because Sol looked a little sad as he spoke.

"I didn't think that our very own house ghost would double cross me like that"

Continued Sol while sounding very betrayed.

"Yeah sounds like he definitely betrayed you"

Said Sofia and started on a second sandwich.

They sat in silence for a little while after that, just eating in silence.

"Hey why is your hair grey?"

Asked Sol, breaking the silence.

"Don't know really"

Said Sofia and shrugged. Sol just nodded.

"It looks brilliant, so you know."

Said Sol a little awkwardly.

"Thanks, yours does as well."

Said Sofia and pointed at his messy green hair.

"Thanks! My brother dyed it for me! The muggle way actually!"

Said Sol and opened a bag of chips.

"It was so weird, it took like two hours and you had to wash it a bunch. Hey does your cousin like guys with green hair?"

Asked Sol with a cheeky grin.

"No, she only likes guys with blue hair I think"

Answered Sofia with a sigh.

"Oh? I'll have to ask my brother to send some dye then!"

Said Sol sounding hopeful.

"Yeah you do that!"

Answered Sofia feeling a bit cheeky herself. Her cousin and her never talked about boys but Sofia could say almost for certain that she didn't like blue haired boys.

"Do you fancy anyone then?"

Asked Sol all of a sudden, Sofia couldn't help but freeze up a bit at the question. But she felt bold today.

"Can you keep a secret?"

She asked boldly. Sol nodded at her vigorously.

"Well.. I think Ginny Weasley is pretty."

This was the first time Sofia had ever said something like this out loud and when she said it it felt terrifying. The seconds it took for Sol to replie felt like five hours.

"Oh wicked, I think she's pretty as well."

Answered Sol as if it was nothing. Sofia gaped.

"So.. you don't think it's weird or anything?"

Sol shook his head at her question.

"No. When you are pink you have to accept everybody despite what they might be or who they like. Except for capitalists and racists and fascists. My brother told me that."

Sofia felt a bit in shock from his words.

"Cool."

Sol nodded again.

"Yeah.. Hey let's get out of here now it's getting cold."

Said Sol. And he was right. The candles by the door were almost burned down and it was almost completely dark in the room now.

"Alright let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is bad boys by inner circle :)


	12. Cash rules everything around me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Cash, Rules, Everything, Around, Me  
> C.R.E.A.M.  
> Get the money  
> Dollar, dollar bill y'all”

The next time Sofia spoke to Ginny again was about a week after the full moon. And it was in the same place that they had met the first time, the girls bathrooms on the second floor. 

Sofia had made it a habit to take these early showers, she didn't like all the girls seeing her sweaty and gross in the morning. She couldn't help but blush a little at that, because when she thought of girls Ginny Weasley often popped up in her head. Since she had told Sol about how she felt a week ago in that weird storage room, her feelings had become more and more apparent to Sofia. Well.. she didn't know if you could call them feelings really. She just thought the girl was pretty, it wasn't like she was in love or anything. Ew no, Sofia would never fall in love. 

Deep in her thoughts Sofia continued brushing her teeth while Wu- Tang clan played in her ears. Zacharias had lent her his walk man the evening before. But he had been fast to remind her to not use up all of the battery, this was supposed to last the whole term. Sofia was only supposed to use it for ten minutes at the most. And she would, but Zacharias had such good music taste that sometimes she just forgot herself and listened for way too long. Sofia hummed to her self as she spit out the toothpaste in the sink. 

"Cash rules everything around me, CREAM get-  
Yeah, check this old fly shit out, word up  
Cash rules everything around me  
CREAM get the money, dollar dollar bill, y'all  
Take you on a natural joint  
Here we here we go, check this shit, yo"

Raekwon and Method Man started rapping in Sofia's ear and she started swaying a little to the background beat. This was way embarrassing and she would never do it in front of anyone but it was just something about Wu- Tang clan that made her want to get up and bust a move. 

"'s been twenty-two long hard years, I'm still strugglin'  
Survival got me buggin', but I'm alive on arrival  
I peep at the shape of the streets  
And stay awake to the ways of the world 'cause shit is deep  
A man with a dream with plans to make cream  
Which failed; I went to jail at the age of fifteen  
A young buck sellin' drugs and such, who never had much  
Tryin' to get a clutch at what I could not touch  
The court played me short, now I face incarceration"

Sofia got interrupted in her little dance with a tap on her shoulder. The tap surprised Sofia so much that she had struggle to keep balance in her place. Whoever it was she did not want to fall on her ass. She managed to keep her balance after struggling for a few seconds and turned around to see Ginny Weasley. 

"What were you listening too?"  
Asked Ginny, but the sound was muffled because Sofia still had the Walkman in her ears.   
"Uhhh.. nothing really, just some tapes I borrowed from Zacharias."  
It seemed like Sofia had found herself having a hard time forming sentences. She took out the walk man at least.   
"Oh come on you looked like you were having so much fun! Tell me what it was? Please?"  
Said Ginny pleadingly while Sofia felt mortified.   
"Uh no, now that you've seen me dance I'm afraid I'll have to kill you"  
Answered Sofia, not really looking in to Ginnys pretty brown eyes. Her red hair was hanging around her face and some parts at the front had curled up a bit because of the steam in the bathroom. Sofia was staring very intensely at those parts of Ginnys hair as they spoke to each other.   
"Oh bite me! I don't mind you dancing at all, actually it's good to see you up and about after what happened last time we spoke."  
Sofia gulped. She most definitely hadn't forgotten about what happened last time they met. She had basically collapsed in a sweaty pile on the floor in one of the corridors and Ginny had been kind enough to help her out. Embarrassing really.   
"Alright miss nosy, I'm listening to Wu- Tang clan!"  
Said Sofia and handed Ginny the Walkman.   
"Oh cool!"  
Replied Ginny and put on the Walkman. She grinned when she heard the music and started nodding her head to the beat a little. Sofia couldn't help but notice that Ginny had a grin that made her look quite mischievous. She got this spark in her eye and there was suddenly something playful over her face. 

"I like it"  
Said Ginny after a while and took of the Walkman. She handed it to Sofia who was quick to shit it of, Zacharias was going to be mad about how much battery she had already wasted.  
"Yeah? Cool."  
Said Sofia, a part of her had kind of wished that Ginny had said she despised hip hop in any form.   
"You don't really grow up with Fred and George as your brothers without hearing a few tunes like this. They like to blast this in the early morning as lovely wake up call!"  
Said Ginny while she leaned on the bathroom wall.   
"Really? That's sounds like more fun then my house. That place is dead quiet most of the time."  
Sofia blurted out the words and regretted saying them almost instantly. Good god she usually never said anything like that in front of people. She had made it a point really to talk as little as she could about her home life and here she was now talking freely to a girl she barely knew. But lucky for Sofia, Ginny had picked up on Sofia's instant silence and started talking instead.   
"So.. early showers huh?"  
Said Ginny and Sofia nodded at her words.   
"Yeah.. I prefer being alone when it come to things like this"  
That was partly true. Sofia didn't mind having girls in the bathroom while she was there but she did mind other people seeing her sweaty and gross. She felt like maybe then they could guess what she was.   
"I do too, it's just nice be alone for a few moments really"  
Said Ginny thoughtfully. Sofia felt like she wanted to get out of there now. Never mind that she only had a bathrobe on and that her hair was still soaking wet and flopping down her back, she had let this become too awkward.   
"Well, I should head out so you can have the shower all for yourself!"  
Said Sofia and gathered up her necessities.   
"That's nice of you, but while your here I wanted to ask you something?"  
Said Ginny and actually met Sofia's eyes. Ginny had absolutely wonderful eyes though Sofia. They were the color of this earthly brown, rich and deep. It was nice to look in to them actually.   
"Well I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor game together? I heard it's going to be a really interesting match and since you are a Hufflepuff and I'm a Gryffindor I thought it could be a fun thing. Unless your like really competitive or something"  
Said Ginny quickly like she was a bit nervous. Sofia felt like shit. The game was the day after the full moon and she was probably going to be asleep.   
"I'm so sorry Ginny, I have remedial potions that day, but maybe some other time"  
Said Sofia filled with a bubbly anxiety that she couldn't just say yes. But Ginny just nodded and looked pretty unaffected.   
"Definitely some other time then!"

And with that Sofia left the bathroom feeling like shit. She was never this awkward with anybody else and she had lots of friends that she had no issues talking to so she couldn't understand why everything felt wrong whenever she talked to Ginny. She didn't even mind her bare feet hitting the cold stone floor as she walked fast trough the halls. She was even too busy overthinking everything too notice that she had left the Walkman in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is cream me by Wu-Tang Clan :)


	13. Harness your hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Harness your hopes  
> On just one person  
> Because you know a harness   
> Was only made for one
> 
> Don't telegraph your passes  
> You'll end up with molasses  
> Cauterized in syrup  
> And syrup and molasses”

Many times Sofia found herself thankfully for being a Hufflepuff. This week was one of those time. Without saying anything about it seemed like her friends got that she was a bit of. And they didn't ask any questions, they didn't bother her about it. Instead they just made sure to include her in everything they did and made sure she was barely ever alone.

Zacharias for an example wasn't even mad at her when Ginny had come by the Hufflepuff table at dinner that day and told them that she had forgotten the Walkman in the bathroom. He had just said that it was cool and that his sister had sent him a new Tupac tape that she could listen too when he was done with it. Sofia was thankful for it.

Sofia wasn't the type to be quiet or down. She wasn't anxious, at least not that she showed to her friends. She was often happy and full with energy, she talked a lot and her friends were used to hearing her ramble about stuff. So now that she had gotten a bit more quiet and closed of it must have been weird for them. Sofia thought so at least but even if it was weird they didn't show that they thought it was weird. Because that was what hufflepuffs did. They were good people readers who could tell when their friends didn't want to talk about stuff. "We take care of each other here" was what professor Sprout had told Sofia during her first week at Hogwarts while they discussed her lycanthropy.

And so they did, every single one of her friends had their own little love language. Sol had offered her a ride on his beloved Skateboard that he told her he had named Emelia. Sofia had politely declined. Then a few hours later he's had asked if she wanted to raid the kitchens with him. She politely said yes to that. Susan on the other hand alway wanted to help her. She always asked if she could do anything for her or if she was okay or if there was something she needed. Sofia was careful not to use her cousin, she knew that Susan would say yes to whatever was asked of sometimes. Well one time she asked her for her cherry pie, she had just been in such a mood for it and Susan's pie had looked too good. Sofia felt a little ashamed about it. Ernie cared in his own way as well. He liked to just be close to Sofia. Sit by her in class, walk next to her in the halls and sit next to her as they ate. It was like he was watching over her without saying anything about it. She appreciated it.

The fact that the full moon was coming up wasn't helping Sofia's horrid mood either. She felt tired to the bone, every part of her felt heavy as she woke up in the mornings. It didn't help that she slept so poorly either. And when she did sleep her head was full with vivid dreams of castles up in the mountains that were made of clouds. The dreams didn't make sense and she didn't try to make them make sense either. Dreams were just dreams, she knew that.

It wasn't until Friday, the day before the full moon that Sofia talked to somebody about how she was actually feeling. That somebody was Susan and the two of them were now the only ones left sitting in the common room, the only sound in the room was fire sparkling from time to time and Susan turning pages in the book she was reading.

"Susan do you think I'm awkward?" Asked Sofia with a moment of confidence. "Because I think I had the most awkward encounter of my life last week"

Susan put her book in her lap and looked at Sofia.

"Sofia your about the least awkward person I know. You have been bubbling with confidence ever since you started here last year!" Susan was now eyeing Sofia carefully. "Is this about why you've been so down all week?"

Sofia looked her hands in her lap. Suddenly they looked too big and not at all fitting to the rest of her body.

"Yes.. No.. maybe... I don't know really."

Said Sofia with a sigh. She didn't like talking about things like this so she didn't know why she was really doing this right now.

"I'm not going question you about it or anything, I just hope you know that there hasn't been a single conversation with you that I've felt tense or awkward. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is in your head."

Said Susan wisely and smiled gently at Sofia.

"Your right, as usual!" Replied Sofia with a little more ease then before. "I think the moon is messing with me a bit as well"

Susan nodded to that.

"Yeah I thought so almost. How are you feeling about the new arrangements?"

Susan was the only one that Sofia had told about professor Lupin being a werewolf as well.

"Good? I guess, it's gonna be good not to see Snapes face seeing he always looks like he wants to kill me. But I've never met another person like me before and I have never had a thought of spending the full moon with someone like me before. That just seemed like.. illegal or something in my mind. He also told me to be there an hour earlier then usual which I thought was weird"

Unloaded Sofia all at once. Susan scratched her chin the way Susan often did.

"Well.. this just my thoughts but I feel like we as wizards have often been told that werewolves and other "halfbreeds" are below us. I don't think it's weird that you, despite being a werewolf still have those values in you. You did grew up in the magical world secluded from everything else just like me and you have never met or interacted with any werewolf's that aren't demonized stories of them.. yeah those are just my thoughts."

Said Susan with thought in her words. They sat in quiet for maybe a minute after that. Sofia was a bit in awe of the big words her cousin used. She sounded so grown up and cool.

"That sounds about right!"

Said Sofia after a while, grinning at her cousin the way she hadn't grinned in a week.

The two sat there for a little while after their chat as well. They were mostly being quiet. Susan was reading her book, curled up in a armchair close to the fire place. And Sofia was sitting the opposite to her with three blankets wrapped around her. She was enjoying the warm presence that her cousin was and feeling that came with being somewhere after most people had gone to sleep. The feeling that made everything feel a little dazed and fuzzy. Sofia had even forgotten about the full moon by the time she actually fell asleep in the same armchair a little later. It was a nice thing to forget really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is harness your hopes by Pavement :)


	14. Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ 'Cause when I call  
> I hope you pick up your phone  
> I'd like to talk to you  
> I hope you answer  
> I hope you answer  
> I hope you answer  
> I hope you answer  
> I hope you answer”
> 
> “'Cause when I call  
> I hope you pick up your phone  
> I'd like to talk to you  
> I hope you answer”

Sofia had never really felt like her lycanthropy had affected her much. Sure she was often tired and her body temperature often switched between being incredibly cold or sweating profusely, but other then that she was often fine. Even the day after her transition often went by with just a fever or nausea. It was alright really.

The only thing that had made her realize that this was a serious thing that had happened to her was her mother's behavior. Her mum had never been loving or the most affectionate parent but she had been an alright parent. She had read to her, told her stories about the world and sometimes she had even slept in Sofia's bed when she was having nightmares in the middle of the night. But after Sofia got bitten most of that changed. Her mother grew distant, keeping to herself and letting the house elf take care of Sofia most of the time. Sofia had been quite confused by this behavior at first, she had even made some attempts to talk to her mum about this but there had never been any concrete answers to her questions.

"I've had a lot to do at work"

Was what Sofia had heard the most. So after a while she quietly gave up and started keeping her distance from her mum the way she seemed to like it. The year before Sofia started Hogwarts turned out to be one of the longest and loneliest of her life thanks to this. She wrote with her cousin and once or twice she had been allowed to visit the neighboring family, which thankfully were the Smith family. They had been a warming presence in Sofia's life the few days she had spent there. Zacharias was epitome of a child that had grown up in a household full with love. He was funny, sometimes a bit to careless and he loved loudly. He told his parents and his sisters that he loved them all the time, something Sofia found herself to be a bit jealous of.

Joseph and Celosia Smith were two very warm and loving parents to their three children and they had made Sofia feel very welcome in their little family of five when she was there. Joseph was a muggleborn wizard who had spent his adult life working in the magical creatures department at the ministry. He was a bit of an eccentric man who liked to paint and bake in his free time, Sofia could understand when he told her he had been sorted in to Hufflepuff. She had been more surprised to find out that his wife and Zacharias mom was a Slytherin. But that chock didn't last long, when Sofia met Celosia for the first time she found out that woman was equally as warm and loving as her husband.

The days Sofia had spent with Zacharias family had been great, but when she came home the memories of them only successfully made her feel even more lonely then she had before she visited them. Because now she knew what she was missing and boy was it dreadful to sit in her empty and cold her house when she knew how it could be.

But all in all none of this seemed all that horrible when she looked in to professor Lupins weary eyes. She felt so incredible small when he opened the door to his office and she had seen the scars on his face clearly. Her pain must be nothing compared to what he had gone through in his life. So as she sat in one of the old armchairs in Lupins office while he himself was making tea, she didn't know what to say really. She was just staring her hands and feeling a bit awkward. After a few minutes the tea was ready and Lupin broke the silence between as he sat down.

"I was surprised when I saw you for the first time actually" said Lupin and put a blue teacup in front of Sofia. "I thought you'd look more like your mum."

Sofia was just about to take a sip from her cup but stopped, confused.

"You knew my mum professor?"

Asked Sofia and the man nodded.

"Oh yes! She was head girl the year I started Hogwarts actually!" Lupin sipped his cup thoughtfully. "Your dad was a year below her though"

"My dad? Sir? You knew him?" Sofia had almost spit out her tea. Her mum never spoke about her dad and the things Lupin were saying were a part of the very little info Sofia knew about her father.

"Knew is a strong word really. He was a sixth year Ravenclaw when I started first year and the most we talked was when I asked him for directions" Said Lupin. "You look like him though, same hair color and eyes."

Same hair??? Same eyes??? All of this was brand new information to Sofia. She had always thought that her strange grey hair color was a strange reaction to her lycanthropy. But apparently her dad had the same color.

"You okay? I'm sorry if this was a sensitive subject for you, I did hear about his passing a few years ago." Said Lupin a little regretfully.

"No it's fine Professor. I was very young when he passed.. it's just a bit strange to hear you speak about him since I don't know much about him myself" said Sofia quietly. She was still very much processing all of this. "I only found out his name because I saw it on an old wedding photography one time"

"Oh". Replied professor Lupin and scratched his head. "Well I don't really know much about him myself I must say. I do remember though that he had a heavy french accent which I thought was funny sounding when I was young."

So her dad had been French? That was news to Sofia. As was really everything that Lupin was saying right now.

"Oh and whenever I saw him in the corridors he always with your mum. You never really saw one without the other" Said Lupin with a smile of what looked like pity.

Sofia gulped. She couldn't really bring herself to reply with anything and Lupins smile was annoying her a bit. She didn't like to be pitied.

"We should let go of the subject for now though." Said Lupin and pulled up two purple vials from a drawer next to him. "It's almost time".

Sofia nodded and took the vial. She unscrewed the cork and started breathing through her mouth to avoid the horrid smell. In two gulps she had swallowed the awful potion that had left it's burning trace in her throat. Even Lupin was frowning after swallowing it.

"I'll never get use to that" He said and got up from his seat. "Come with me and I'll show you the place."

Both of them got up from their seats and Lupin showed Sofia in to a little side room. The room was empty except for a few patterned carpets and the wooden floors and some blankets in a corner. It was also completely dark except for the starlight that was shining in from the one window in the room. Despite that this room was a definite upgrade from the cell she usually changed in.

"Any type of fire would be a bit dangerous I recon." Said Lupin as he saw that Sofia was looking around the room. "I think we'll manage without it though"

Lupin grinned at Sofia and she grinned back. Some of tension that she had felt from the previous conversation lifted.

"So, I don't think we are going to have any problems with this. Seeing as we both drink the potion we'll keep our minds and we won't want to hurt each other!" Said Lupin and Sofia nodded. She didn't have it in her to answer since the moon was starting to get to her but she guessed that Lupin was feeling the same really.

Her bones felt itchy and Sofia now couldn't really stand still. It didn't hurt really but she felt incredibly uncomfortable, like her body was being rugged and pulled in different directions. After a while she sat down on the floor and looked at Lupin who was a pale and looked resolute. Despite the potion he seemed to be in pain.

But Sofia couldn't think about that for long because now she started to feel her bones crackling. She fell down to the floor, her head bouncing on the floor as the moon forced her body through the change that made a large dark wolf stand were Sofia had just laid.

Lupins wolf was considerably larger as they stood facing each other. Sofia looked straight in to the wolfs ember eyes and instantly a part of her said "alpha". It was pure instinct that made her out her canine head down and stare on the floor. She did that until the bigger wolf affectionately puffed her with his head. "Pack" said that same voice in Sofia's head and she puffed the other wolf back.

They did that for a little while, getting familiar with one another and making sure that they were both cool with one another. After a little while the bigger laid down on the floor, curling up in a ball and Sofia felt a need to do the same. She made herself comfortable and laid down a bit from the grey wolf. And so they spent the night, a big away from each other but still in the company of one another. Even as wolf Sofia felt that this was an enormous improvement from previous full moons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is answer by Tyler The Creator :)


	15. Creep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ The twenty second of loneliness  
> And we've been through so many things.  
> I love my man with all honesty,  
> But I know he's cheating on me.  
> Look him in the eyes,  
> But all he tells me is lies to keep me near.”

Spending the full moon with another werewolf seemed to have done wonders for Sofia's health. She wasn't feverish or anything like that, mostly she was just tired. Even Professor Lupin himself looked a bit more perky then usual. He had given her another cup of tea and then sent her of to her dorm to sleep the rest of the day. Sofia had done as he said and was now on her way down to the common room.

She still had a lot on her mind, the transition had taken her mind of the conversation she had with Lupin but now that was all she could think about really. The image of her dad would not leave her mind. They had the same hair color and the same eyes said Lupin. Had he always had the grey hair? Or had it come when he was older like it had been for Sofia? Had he pulled on it and wondered if he was aging prematurely the way Sofia had done when she saw those first grey strands?

The questions were endless she didn't have nearly enough information to answer them. She wanted answers though. She wanted to know all about her dad and all of their similarities and differences. Sofia would never dare to ask her mum about him, every trace of her dad had been eliminated from their house which had led to Sofia growing up thinking that she simply did not have a dad. It wasn't until she was 8 that she had found that wedding picture. It had slipped behind a large bookshelf which Sofia had managed to get behind once when she playing hide and seek with their house elf.

"Amelia and Matisse wedding, bones manor 1978."

The picture had been of a large group of people standing outside their house. They had fancy clothes on and all of them had broad smiles on their faces. Sofia had recognized her grandparents in the picture since she had seen pictures of them and of course her mum. Amelia had looked happier and healthier then Sofia had ever seen her. Her hair had hung down her back in golden curls and she had a smile on her face different to any smile that Sofia had ever seen her mum smile. Sofia remembered think that her mum was the most beautiful person she had ever seen then.

But to young Sofia's dismay, she had never figured out which one of the guys in the picture was her dad. There was no man standing particularly close to Amelia expected for her two brothers. At least she knew his name now had Sofia thought. Matisse. The name had always felt sweet on her tongue when she thought of it. Like she had discovered a hidden secret that was just for her. Now she knew that the name was French as well. Seeing that her dad apparently had a heavy French accent.

A Ravenclaw with a French accent that had grey hair and dark brown eyes. His name was Matisse. That was all Sofia knew about her father.

She sighed as she now entered the Hufflepuff common room. She was too tired to think about these things right now. Her brain felt mushier and mushier the more she was thinking. To her luck, the Hufflepuff common room was mostly empty. A few older students were sitting in small groups and it looked like they were revising. OWLS probably, thought Sofia as she passed by them on her way to her dorm room. Cedric Diggory was one of the students, he didn't look like he was studying but he did have his broom in his lap and was polishing it carefully. He had been made captain since Poppy, their previous captain had dropped from the position. She had been an easily stressed girl, with very frail nerves that had just entered her 7th year so nobody had really blamed her when she decided to focus on her studies instead. Maybe Cedric had done good for himself in his first game, though Sofia. She didn't have the energy to ask him or anyone else right now about how the game had went. She just wanted to sleep and her perfectly made bed was looking very inviting right now.

Sofia flopped down on the soft bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She curled up in a ball, trying to make herself as small as possible.

Her head was still clouded with thoughts about her dad and the full moon but after a while her beak gave up on trying to think coherent thoughts and she fell in to a deep sleep.

It wasn't until a couple hours later that Sofia woke up to the low sounds of music playing and the muffled sounds of people speaking.

"Now the dark days are gone

And the bright days are here

I can finally see the sun appear

Look at how far we've come

Everything is so clear

Can't believe it's been another year"

Sofia was still laying with her eyes close but she recognized that they were playing Tlc on the stereo now.

"She's moving a bit maybe we should lower the volume" Could Sofia hear Marja say with a low voice.

"But it's basically at it's lowest already" Said Nicola, sounding a bit sour.

"Never mind that, I'm up now" Said Sofia and sat up in her bed. "What are you all doing?"

The four other girls had squeezed in to Nicolas bed, they had a stereo at the bottom of the bed and Anika was carefully painting her nails a light blue color.

"Not much really" Said Marja who had a magazine in her lap. "We just came back from the library and didn't want to wake you up from your nap." The other three girls nodded at this.

"Yeah you looked so peaceful" Said Bonnie cheerfully.

"Snoring a bit as well" continued Anika with a grin.

"Could have woken me up really, what time is it? How did the game go?" Asked Sofia with a yawn, the other girls had perked up at her question.

"We won! It was unbelievable"

"Yeah Potter fell of his broom!"

"And there was dementors in the skye!"

"Wood was totally of his game, we scored a bunch!"

All four of the girls were speaking over each other now and Sofia smiled at them. The Hufflepuffs hadn't had that much on the quidditch pitch the past years so this was a nice surprise.

"Brilliant! Is it late enough for dinner? I'm absolutely starving!" Said Sofia, her stomach rumbling as if it wanted to make a point.

"Yeah I think so! Just let me finish my nails real quick" Said Anika.

And so the girls sat in their dorm for a little while, waiting for Anikas nails to dry and chatting about quidditch and other things. Talking to the girls were a great distraction for Sofia who was a bit tired and still didn't want to think properly about her dad. So she threw herself in to conversations, she joked, laughed loudly and did her best to distract her brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is creep from Tlc :)


	16. Borderline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Will I be known and loved?  
> Is there one that I trust?  
> Starting to sober up  
> Has it been long enough?  
> Will I be known and loved?  
> Little closer, close enough  
> I'm a loser, loosen up  
> Set it free, must be tough  
> Will I be known and loved?  
> Is there one that I trust?  
> If there's room, room for doubt  
> As within, as without ya  
> Will I be so in love?  
> Gettin' closer, close enough  
> Shout out to what is done  
> R.I.P. here comes the sun  
> Here comes the sun”

The next few weeks passed quickly for Sofia. School picked up a higher pace and between homework and being with her friends, Sofia didn't really have time to overthink much.

Well except at nights. Or early mornings. Or whenever she was alone. Most of those thoughts were about her dad or even Ginny whom she hadn't seen in a while. It was an issue that Sofia chose to ignore for now. And she would for as long as she could.

Everything else in her life was going well anyways, so why would she bother to make trouble over some weird thoughts? No it was point in that thought Sofia. She was happy. She reminded herself of that when she was with her friends and felt normal. She was happy.

So she did all the things that she usually did. She spent time with her friends, except she talked a little more then usual. She did homework, she listened to music and she tried her best to just do everything that didn't make her thoughts wander. Sometimes when she was with Susan she could feel her brown eyes looking a little extra in Sofia's direction. But Sofia pretended she didn't notice, her cousin was annoyingly good at reading people but she was also too polite to ask any questions.

A person who didn't look at her weird was Sol. Sofia felt oddly close to him ever since she had told him about Ginny. He never made it awkward or tense between them and often even teased Sofia about her little crush. Only when it was just the two of them though, he would never reveal anything about Sofia that she didn't want him too. 

Sol also had a lot of energy. Enough even to match Sofia's slightly fanatic running around. Sol had no problem staying up late at night to skate around the empty Hogwarts corridors, Sofia legs had about a million scratches on them and she had even gotten a bruise on her shin from trying to do kick flip. Sol had told her to go to the hospital wing but she was honestly too embarrassed.

The one thing that irked Sofia about hanging out with Sol more was how Ernie reacted to it all. The boy was grumpier and seemed to withdraw himself more and more from Sofia.

"Did you get notes from history of magic today?" Would Sofia say to him, trying her best to get a conversation going.

"Mmmh" was all the answer Ernie would giver her.

It pissed her of a bit but she kept her mouth closed. Ernie could talk when he wanted too. She wasn't going to pressure him. So Sofia hung out more with Sol. They skated and went on adventures around the castle, he would show her different hidden rooms or small passageways that would lead out of the castle or just nowhere at all. Sometimes when they had been skating until late evening they slipped out of the castle and went on a walk on the grounds. Tonight was one of those nights.

"You tired?" Asked Sofia while pushing down a yawn. "Because I'm starting to feel it a bit."

"Your the only one then. I'm more hungry if anything." Said Sol, sounding wide awake. "Or well I wouldn't say hungry. I'm more feeling a snack if you know what I mean? Snackish? If that's a word."

"It's really not, but I kinda get what your meaning." Said Sofia.

The two of them were currently walking along the edge of the forbidden forest. It was looming over them like a tall green wall and Sofia was careful to not step too close.

"Why do you know so much?" Asked Sofia suddenly. "Like how do you find out about all of these passages and stuff?"

Sol was walking a bit In front of Sofia. So she could only see the back of his head and his recently dyed blue mohawk when he replied.

"That's a secret I'll take with me to my grave!" Said Sol. "I mean I told you who showed me where the kitchens are so maybe you could connect the dots."

It didn't click instantly for Sofia who it was. She had to think for a bit. Sol had been in detention with that one guy from Gryffindor who commentates the quidditch games. His name was... Lee Jordan! And Lee Jordan was often seen with a pair of Redhead twins.

"Oh the Weasleys!" Said Sofia triumphantly.

"Yup!" Was the only thing Sol said before he almost fell over on a branch that was on their path.

He was more tired then he said thought Sofia. Maybe they should be turning back soon, it was almost pitch black outside now as well.

"Hey Sol Maybe...". Sofia walked right in to Sol before she could be done with her sentence.

Sol had froze and was standing completely still, he was staring right in to the dark forest.

"What's goin-" Said Sofia but she stopped in the middle of the sentence when she noticed a pair of big yellow eyes staring at her. The eyes looked like they belonged to a huge furry animal who was standing and staring at them.

Sofia and Sol did their absolute best to stand completely still but they were both loosing their minds on the inside. The animal took a few menacingly steps forward and now you could see it was a large dog shaped creature. It was slightly growling at them now as well and Sofia could feel herself staring to shake.

"Uhhh... I'm sorry we bothered you mr dog." Said Sol suddenly with a voice as low as a whisper. "We didn't mean to bother you in your very comfortable part of the forest. Completely our fault honestly."

Sofia wanted to stop Sol from talking, it seemed silly to talk to this animal like it was human but it did look like the dog was listening.

"We will just mind our business and not tell anyone we saw you here at all." Said Sol, his voice a little shaky. "You didn't see us we didn't see you that's seems like a great deal to me."

All three of them stood still for a little while after that. But after a few minutes the dog started taking a few steps back in to the forest.

"Let's go!!!!" Said Sofia as they now couldn't see the dog anymore. After that Sofia and Sol sprinted back up to the castle as if they were olympic runners.

She had been quite shaken up by the whole thing really and she was sure she hadn't fallen asleep until witching hour at least. She could see Sols dark eye bags the next morning so she assumed he hadn't slept very well either.

And when they heard Ron Weasleys story about Sirius Black threatening to kill him in the middle of the night, they just looked at each other with a terrible feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is borderline by tame impala :)


	17. What a feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ What a feeling to be right here beside you now  
> Holding you in my arms  
> When the air ran out and we both started running wild  
> The sky fell down  
> But you've got stars, they're in your eyes  
> And I've got something missing tonight  
> What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow  
> I wish I could be there now”
> 
> “ Through the wire, through the wire, through the wire  
> I'm watching you like this, imagining you're mine  
> It's too late, it's too late, am I too late?  
> Tell me now, am I running out of time?”

When Sofia grew up her home was often empty. Her mum worked long hard hours and often came from work with a tired look in her face, wanting to be left alone for a couple of hours. Young Sofia hadn't been particularly bothered by this loneliness. Maybe it was because she was too young to understand that parents were supposed to be there and take care of you. But she often found herself to enjoy her own company.

"Befriend yourself and you'll never be lonely"

Amelia Bones had said to her daughter once. And so Sofia befriended herself. She read almost all the books in their library, she drew until she was so frustrated she quit and came up with different games that she could play on her own in the house. Sometimes, when her house elf Iggy was in the right mood they would play chess together or Iggy would teach Sofia how to cook even. Sofia didn't want to force Iggy to do anything, she knew that elf was old so she always let the elf make the decision when it came to those things.

Sometimes Amelia would be home. This was often after a particularly taxing workday. This either meant that she would be in a good mood or a very bad. When Sofia's mum was in a good mood she would smile at her, read her books, make her own raspberry lemonade from the bushes in their garden and sometimes they went on walks around the grounds. When there was no wind out, you could sometimes here the soft sounds of the ocean that was close by. Sometimes when Sofia's mum was in a good mood their walks would lead them all the way to the cliffside that was right at edge of the Bones grounds. There Sofia could see the massive blue waves hit the stones beneath her. It was strange almost too se it, to feel the salty ocean breeze on her nose and stare down to see the dark blue waters. If Sofia ever got the question on how she thought infinity looked like she would answer that it looked like the ocean.

Sofia was very grateful for those days. And she thought about them often. Especially when her mother was in a bad mood. Then she looked herself in her part of the house and often didn't come out for a few days. On those days it seemed like a big invisible wall formed between Sofia and her mum. A wall that grew stronger and thicker every time her mother left Sofia to manage by her own.

When Sofia started Hogwarts she had been deeply surprised by the loyalty of friends. None of the people she had made her friends at Hogwarts ever left her the way her mother did. There was always someone there to talk to when you got lonely. Suddenly Sofia didn't need to be her own best friend. Even the full moons felt less lonely when she knew she had her friends waiting for her back in the common room the next day. It wasn't until she was older that she realized that that's what living was all about. Not putting up a big invisible wall between you and your loved ones. Living was about being there. It was about never leaving your friends despite being sad, angry or petty.

Now she was sitting in the library with Ernie, Marja and Zacharias looking up on the tall bookshelves. They reminded her a lot of the library at home.

"Sofia do you have the answer to question five?" Asked Marja, sounding a bit stressed. "I'm blanking out here."

"Hmm..? No I haven't started it yet" said Sofia in response. They were currently finishing some transfiguration homework that had been given to them. Zacharias was there because he was so behind in his homework that his parents had hold the threat of taking his broom away from him if he didn't catch up soon over his head.

"Can I help you out then?" Said Marja, her brows were furrowed. "I think we're supposed to turn this in tomorrow and it's getting late"

Marja was right though Sofia. The parchment in front of her was blank and they had been at the library for hours already.

"Yes please!" Said Sofia and Marja shuffled her paper over to Sofia so that she could copy it. Ernie said nothing but Sofia could see that a wrinkle had formed between his eyebrows.

"Just don't copy straight of" Said Marja with a yawn. "Don't wanna get caught again"

Sofia shook her head as she started re writing what Marja had written on her paper. She had just finished the first question when she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello!"

Sofia looked up from her paper to see Ginny Weasley standing at the end of the table. Her red hair was tied up in a ponytail and she looked just as tired as Sofia's other friends that were sitting around the table.

"Hellu Ginny. Doing the transfiguration homework as well?" Said Sofia.

"Yeah just finished! I spent like an hour on question five only, it was brutal." Replied Ginny and looked thoughtful. "Exams this year are going to be murder."

Both Zacharias and Ernie looked up at Ginny when she said those last words and Ginny looked a bit taken back.

"Ehh.. I'll let you get back to it then" Said Ginny with a polite smile.

Sofia gave her two friends angry stares and got up clumsily from her chair.

"I'll walk with you!" Said Sofia in a spur of the moment decision. "Maybe you could tell me about question five?"

"But Sofia when are you going to finish the rest of them" said Marja who was suddenly alert.

"Oh I'll do that later." Said Sofia who had now left the table. "Bring my things back with you if you leave yeah?"

Marja nodded to that and looked a little surprised and Ginny looked happy.

"Come on" said Ginny and the two of them walked out of the library together.

They walked in silence for a little bit and Sofia felt a bit awkward. She put her hands in the pockets of her jumper and coughed a little.

"So are you staying here for Christmas?" Said Ginny Suddenly.

"Yup, my mum is to busy for me to come home" replied Sofia. "How about you?"

"Staying. My parents are going to visit my brother in Romania this Christmas." Said Ginny while looking a little sad.

"Oh that's cool." Replied Sofia. Her head had been filled with images of her and Ginny doing Christmas thing. "Uhm, maybe we could do something together during the break then?"

"Yeah I'd like that. Don't flunk out on me again, my ego can't take another rejection" replied Ginny jokingly and Sofia chuckled.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that, I'll make it up to you now then" Said Sofia, feeling a little flushed.

Ginny had stopped in front of a portrait of a very large woman.

"Well this is me" said Ginny.

"On the portrait??" Replied Sofia surprised and Ginny laughed heartily.

"No hahaha. This is the entry way to the Gryffindor common room." Said Ginny with a spark in her eye. "I'll see you around Sofia. Let me know when you wanna hang out and maybe I could help you with some homework?"

"Definitely" Replied Sofia and smiled.

"Bluebird" said Ginny to the fat woman on the Portrait and suddenly it was opening up to her. Ginny gave Sofia one last smile that made her feel flutters in her stomach before she disappeared on the other side of the portrait.

When Sofia walked back to the Hufflepuff common room she had a funny feeling in her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is what a feeling by one direction :)


	18. Just the two of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ We look for love, no time for tears  
> Wasted water's all that is  
> And it don't make no flowers grow  
> Good things might come to those who wait  
> Not for those who wait too late  
> We gotta go for all we know”
> 
> “ Just the two of us  
> We can make it if we try  
> Just the two of us  
> (Just the two of us)  
> Just the two of us  
> Building them castles in the sky  
> Just the two of us  
> You and I”
> 
> “ hear the crystal raindrops fall  
> On the window down the hall  
> And it becomes the morning dew  
> And darling when the morning comes  
> And I see the morning sun  
> I wanna be the one with you”

The rain that had fell down hard on Hogwarts almost non stop the past month had now started turning in to delicate snowflakes. The snow fell down in a easy smooth way some days and covered Hogwarts in a light white cover. Somedays it fell down almost as hard as the rain, if you looked outside though a window on this days all you could see was a white blur.

Sofia liked those days the best. Where she grew up the snow rarely stayed. It was always temporary when that first winter snow came. It was different here though, when those hard snow days hit the snow stayed on the ground for many days, piling up and after a while turning dangerously icy. Sofia couldn't help it but even enjoy the cold that bit her cheeks and made them red. It was the type of cold that you could feel all the way to your bones and it was much different from the soft winters she was used to.

So now that the snow had started falling on Hogwarts she was happy. She felt more at ease and calm then how she had been feeling the past few weeks. The November full moon had even passed without much of a fuss. Sofia liked Lupin and his ways. Despite his scruffy ways and scarred face he had been a surprisingly calm presence in Sofia's life. When they talked about school and Sofia was starting to tap her feet on the floor or twist her hands in her lap he didn't care. He just continued to speak to her with his calm voice and soon enough Sofia found herself to be just as calm as Lupin himself.

She had been seeing Ginny Weasley more often as well. Sometimes they found each other in hallways and walked together, other times they went to the library to study together and sometimes Sofia would catch her in the great hall and be met with a great smile.

Ginny was a good study partner. She wasn't very patient and sometimes she got a little sour when Sofia didn't understand things on the first try. But she was good at explaining and she was also good at showing how it was done. With the flick of her and she could turn a needle in to a pen, making it look easy. Sofia thought she was great but when Sofia told her how good she was Ginny just scoffed and told her to stop playing. Maybe growing up in a house with six older brothers had made made damage to Ginnys confidence, or maybe it had to with what happened to her in her second year.

Either way Sofia liked hanging out with a Ginny. Sofia's friends had looked a little surprised in the beginning when she had told them that she was going to the library with Ginny Weasley. Well except for Sol who had just grinned knowingly at her.

Most of Sofia's friends were going home for Christmas this year. Susan was going home to her parents and had spent a good 30 minutes trying to convince Sofia to join her. Sofia liked her uncle and his wife and it tugged in her heart to turn Susan down but she was to stay at Hogwarts this year. This mostly because the full moon was right on Christmas Day and Sofia did not want to trouble her uncle with that.

Right now Sofia was sitting in the library with Ginny. The girl had her nose in a book and her two braids of red hair had become messy over the day. Ginny liked to do things with her had Sofia noticed. Sometimes it was braided, sometimes she had it in pigtails or ponytails. Sofia mostly just let her own hair hang. It laid mostly flat and there wasn't much too it. Maybe she could as Ginny to teach her how to do some braids to make her hair look a bit prettier some day.

It was dark outside and snowing furiously. It got dark early during the winter and Sofia didn't love it. It was a bit disheartening to go to morning classes while it was pitch black outside and then have it be dark out again when classes ended for the day.

"What are you thinking about?" Asked Ginny Sofia, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh not much. Just about how boring this darkness outside is" said Sofia and looked at Ginny. "It's proper shit honestly"

"Yeah Scottish winters are nothing good really. Makes me miss home." Said Ginny and looked out the window they were sitting next to.

"Oh, where are you from?" Asked Sofia and Ginny tugged on her braids, making them look even messier.

"Our house is a bit outside this small village called Ottery St Catchpole!" Said Ginny, her eyes lit up while she talked about her home. "It's mostly wizards who live there these days."

"Is it down south? I think my mum mentioned it sometime" said Sofia.

"Yeah it's in Devon! I love our rainy winters much more to be honest." Said Ginny and Sofia couldn't help but frown at her.

"Really? I grew up in Bournemouth and I hated our rainy and warm winters." Said Sofia and shuddered with the thought of it.

"Sofia... you've never been this wrong in your life." Said Ginny. "Rainy winters are the best! No icy cold snow and whenever somebody asks you to go outside you can just say no because it's raining!"

"All I hear coming from your mouth is insanity Ginny. I might just have to take you to madame Pomfrey because you might just be going crazy!" Said Sofia with a grin.

"If anyone should go to madame Pomfrey it's you.. liking snow tsk tsk.. worst thing I've ever heard." Said Ginny and looked disgusted.

"I'll give you one thing though.. I hate being cold" said Sofia. "I hate being cold but I also kind of like when it's cold out"

"That does not make sense but I kind of understand what you mean." Replied Ginny. "Oh is that why you always have like five jumpers on?"

"Yup. I despise feeling cold". Said Sofia and smiled. She was kind of telling the truth. Her lycanthropy made it easy for her to get cold fast but she didn't have to tell that to Ginny just yet.

"Well now I now what to give you for Christmas!" Said Ginny and Sofia laughed.

They spent maybe another hour in the library like that. Chatting about everything and nothing. After a while madame Pince chased them out of there and they were both of to separate common rooms.

When Sofia came back to the common rooms she sat by the fire for a little while, warming herself up while she listened to her friends chat.

"Cho Chang is a bad seeker!" Said Zacharias passionately. "We'll beat her for sure!"

"Oh please! You are just saying that because she's a girl!" Said Hannah. "You can't stand the fact that she's better then Anthony!"

"I can't stand the fact that you have absolutely zero house loyalty!" Scowled Zacharias.

Despite the arguing, Zacharias and Hannah were sitting next to each other on the same couch. They were both smiling and looked happy to be arguing with one another. Christmas joy, though Sofia before she went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is of course just the two of us by Bill Withers and Grover Washington jr :) 
> 
> This was actually the last chapter that I had pre written so the updates are going to be a bit slower from now on.


	19. With a little help from my friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ What do I do when my love is away?  
> Does it worry you to be alone?  
> How do I feel by the end of the day?  
> Are you sad because you're on your own?”
> 
> “No, I get by with a little help from my friends  
> Mm, get high with a little help from my friends  
> Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends“
> 
> “Do you need anybody?  
> I need somebody to love  
> Could it be anybody?  
> I want somebody to love“

On the 18th of December Sofia said goodbye to her friends who had gotten on the Hogwarts express. It was a very few students who were staying at Hogwarts for Christmas this year so the train had been packed with stressed kids. Most of them were going home this year because Sirius Black was still out and about and that made the parents eager to see that their children were still alive.

So Sofia had walked to the station with her friends to say goodbye. Susan, Zacharias and Hannah had been making plans to meet up sometime during the break and they had tried all the way down to the station to convince Sofia to join them.

"It's going to be no fun without you there honestly" said Susan with a pout. "Zacharias and Hannah are just going to be talking about quidditch or something.

"Oi! I do not talk about quidditch that often!" Said Hannah, a bit offended. "Or do I? Have I become just as big of a nerd as Smith??"

"You really do I'm afraid!" Replied Sofia. "And I'm sorry Suzy but I don't think I can do that"

"Hey I'm no nerd!" Started Zacharias.

"But why? I don't get why you can't leave the castle for just a day or so?" Said Susan, interrupting Zacharias.

"Oh my mum made me promise it" Said Sofia a bit distantly. She didn't want to go in to it really. "Your bag looks heavy, do you want a hand?"

Susan looked at Sofia begrudgingly and nodded. At least her cousin was good at understanding cues.

"Look at them. Already in their world!" Said Susan and pointed with her free hand to Hannah and Zacharias who were bickering with one another again.

"Yeah.. Recon they'll be a thing before summer break?" Said Sofia and looked at Zacharias who was now carrying both his own bag and Hannahs with a sour look on his face.

"Oh yeah for sure! I'd bet money on it" said Susan confidently.

"Alright then. Two galleons from the both of us that they get together before summer. If they don't, we have to.. I don't know maybe we give it to them." Said Sofia. "Or maybe we throw the money in a well or something"

"That's a very weird way to bet on something but alright, your on!" Replied Susan. She then stopped and put down her bag with a thud. They were close to the station now and you could hear the sound of all the students waiting to board the train. 

"Promise you'll write at least? You know I'll worry if you don't." Said Susan with pleading eyes directed at Sofia.

"Of course I'll write Suzy" Replied Sofia. "Not that I'll have anything exiting to tell you but I'll write about what I ate for breakfast, or what weird gift I got from my mum this Christmas or something."

"I look forward too it!" Said Susan genuinely. "Have a great break I'll see you in three weeks!"

"Bye! Say hello to uncle from me!" Waved Sofia as Susan started walking towards the train with her bag dragging after her.

"BYE HANNAH AND ZACHARIAS!". Yelled Sofia to Hannah and Zacharias who were walking a bit ahead. When she saw them wave back at her she turned around and started her walk back to the castle.

It was snowing lightly and the snow was laying down like a layer of powder on the already white ground when Sofia walked. She felt weirdly empty as she walked. What was she gonna do basically all alone for three weeks? Think about her dad?? That would be awful. Sure she had Ginny but she couldn't really go and ask Ginny to hang out every other hour the way she did with Sol.

Maybe she could explore the castle a bit further. See if she could find anymore hidden rooms or cool passages. Maybe if she felt bold she could make her way up to the Ravenclaw tower and see if there was anything there about her dad. Only maybe though.

When Sofia reached the Castle and got inside she couldn't help but marvel at beauty of its newly put up Christmas decorations. There were huge gold and red decorated Christmas trees in every corner, mistletoes were hanging over every doorframe, sparky glitter hung over the castle paintings and the statues had been enchanted to sing different Christmas carols. One of them to Sofias surprise seemed to be singing last Christmas which definitely differed from the others old school songs. Must be a clever student who did that thought Sofia as she headed of to her common room.

It was a bit odd to walk around in the basically empty castle halls and Sofia for once enjoyed the sound of the paintings on the wall talking. Usually they annoyed her but now they served as a great substitute to the usual chatter you would here while walking through the halls. Sofia even found herself listening in to some things they were saying.

The Hufflepuff common room was completely empty. Every arm chair and sofa stood empty and the only sound you could here came from the fireplace. Sofia knew that Nicola from her year was staying at Hogwarts as well this year but she must have been doing other stuff because this place was completely empty. Even Helga Hufflepuffs portrait was dark and empty. So Sofia laid down in a couch next to the fire and stretched out her limbs. To her delight she noticed that her feet were touching the end of the couch. She was getting tall. More adult really. Sofia fell asleep fast after that, lulled in to nap by the sparkling sound from the fire and the vague tingling sound from from the plants in the room.

And so the next few days passed by just about the same. Sofia would hang out in the common room. She napped, did some homework, read a book and stared in to the wall. She was incredible bored honestly. And she missed her friends. Hogwarts was really useless without them. She went to all the meals of the day with Nicola, who was staying at Hogwarts only because her grandparents were sick and her parents had to take care of them. At the meals the students still sat at their own tables which was a bit weird seeing that there was only two Hufflepuffs left, three Ravenclaws, Ten Gryffindors and zero Slytherins left. Old habits died hard apparently.

Sofia wanted an interruption to her boredom and on the day before Christmas it came in the form of Ginny Weasley. She caught Sofia leaving the great hall after dinner.

"Hey Sofia!" Yelled Ginny to get her attention. "I have something for you!"

"Really? A present! Oh you didn't have to?" Said Sofia with a smile. Ginny looked Exited as she handed the brown package over to Sofia.

"Oh I didn't, it was my mum really." Said Hinny and Grinned.

"You talk your mum about me?? That's going to make me tear up Ginny." Said Sofia, feeling happier then before. _Ginny talked to her mum about her!!!!!._

"Oh shut it! I told her about your little issue.. oh just open it now!" Said Ginny, barely containing her excitement.

"The day before Christmas? Isn't that illegal?"

Said Sofia Jokingly.

"I wanna see you open it so just do it already!!" Replied Ginny a bit impatient.

Sofia opened the package carefully by Ginnys command. There was a few layers of brown paper but under it was beautiful blue knitted jumper with a big S on it. Sofia held it up to look at it and smiled. Ginny hadn't lied when she told her that she knew what to give her for Christmas!

"Ginny it's so pretty!! I have no words!" Said Sofia, still looking at her new jumper. "Your mum is amazing at knitting!"

"Don't tell her that or all of my clothes will be knitted from now on!" Said Ginny, looking happy that Sofia liked the gift. "But I'll let her know you like it! The color kind of match with your hair I thought!"

"I wouldn't even have thought about that!" Said Sofia and looked at the light blue color and the silver S. "Thank you so much Ginny."

Sofia pulled Ginny in to a fast hug without thinking about it and when she let go again it looked as if Ginny was blushing a little.

"No problem Sofia. Merry Christmas!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is with a little help from my friends by the Beatles :)


	20. Cold Cold Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Doctor,  
> Look into my eyes  
> I've been breathing air, but there's no sign of life  
> Doctor  
> The problem's in my chest  
> My heart feels cold as ice, but it's anybody's guess“
> 
> “Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?  
> Better make it fast before I change my mind  
> Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?  
> Better make it fast before I change my mind“
> 
> “Well it's cold, cold, cold  
> Cold inside  
> Darker in the day than the dead of night  
> Cold, cold, cold  
> Cold inside  
> Doctor can you help me cause something don't feel right?  
> Something don't feel right“

Sofia woke up on Christmas Day feeling like shit. It was the day of the full moon and she could feel it in her whole body. She was shivering cold despite stealing the covers from everyone’s bed except for Nicolas, despite that there was sweat dripping down her forehead and she felt as if her whole body was aching. Sofia had absolutely no ambition of getting out of bed today until it was time to go.

So she rolled up in a ball of misery and blankets and buried her head in her pillow. She was feeling real sorry for herself right now honestly. Despite thinking earlier that she was fine spending the Christmas alone Sofia now missed people more then anything. She didn’t want to lay in her bed all day feeling miserable. No she would much rather be with her friends today.

She missed her cousin and her caring her ways. Her cousin that had filled her suitcase to the brink with Christmas presents without thinking about how she was going to manage money wise for the rest of the year. Sofia missed Hannah and her odd ways. Hannah who would talk to anyone about anything and never dismiss anybody’s special interest. Sofia also missed Zacharias and his passion. Zacharias who could spend hours discussing quidditch but also spend hours comforting somebody when they were sad. Sofia missed Sol for the first time as well, the boy who spent hours bleaching and dying his hair every month so he could stand out from the crowd. She missed his restless energy and the way he could keep a secret like nobody else. Sofia even thought of Ernie. She didn’t miss him the way she missed everybody else but she did feel a deep sadness that he wasn’t himself right now. She did miss the Ernie that would laugh until he cried, the Ernie who wanted to hold her hand when he was scared of anything and most of all she missed how close they had been their first year at Hogwarts.

A tear trickled down Sofia’s cheek as she thought of friends. What was she without them here? She didn’t feel like much really.

“Sofia? Are you coming down for breakfast?” Asked Nicola. Sofia couldn’t see her face but she could hear from her voice that she was on her way out of the dorm.

“No you go ahead without me, I feel like shit” Said Sofia a bit muffled. “Bring me back some toast though?”

“Sure!” Replied Nicola and Sofia could hear her leaving.

Sofia buried her head further down in the pillow and let out a small scream of frustration in her pillow. The Hogwarts pillows were massive and it was quite easy to just scream in to it without anybody hearing. Sofia had done it before.

After another hour of two of just laying in her bed and feeling like shit, Nicola came back with some toast and a orange. The girl had then left again, maybe she was uncomfortable with sick people or maybe she was just being nice and leaving her alone for a while. Either way she had said something about a game of chess with a Ravenclaw.

Sofia did after another few hours manage to sit up in her bed, feeling dizzy and disoriented from being half asleep and her aching bones. She still had her bed cover wrapped around her like a butterflies cocoon. She sat there for a little while, just looking around the empty and quiet room. There was a layer of dust now on the three unused beds that felt unfamiliar and a bit strange. Sofia missed the girls chatter and the warmth their bubbly personality’s contributed to the dorm.

Sofia picked up the Orange that Nicola had left for her on her nightstand. She started peeling it, finding the smell of fresh fruit a bit calming. The orange tasted sweet and a bit cold and Sofia thought it was the best thing she had eaten ever.

It must have been way past lunch when Sofia had got herself dressed and out of bed. And by dressed, that meant that she changed her pyjama pants to a pair of old black sweatpants and pulled on the jumper she had gotten as a gift yesterday. On her feet was a pair of green converse who were torn up on the sides from skating. Sofia had gotten those from Sol. She had told him once how cool they looked and the boy had left them for her as a christmas present. Sofia loved the shoes and had written to him as soon as she had seen them sitting on her trunk.

Right now her plan was to find professor Lupin. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him but her body was aching for movement and she hoped that he could understand how shitty she was feeling right now. Maybe he would tell her to bugger of and come back when it was time but Sofia had some hope that he wouldn’t.

So Sofia made her way to Lupins office. With every step she took she felt her joints cracking and making some worrying noises. So Sofia took it easy. Every step she took was carefully calculated and planned so that she could minimize her pain.

After at least 20 minutes of walking she was standing in front the wooden door that led in to professor Lupins office. He hadn’t decorated the door but there was a small note hanging on it that read “Merry Christmas and happy new year!” Sofia gulped as she read it. She was unreasonably nervous to knock on the door but yet she did it.

A few moments later a scruffy looking professor Lupin peaked out. He was pale faced and it looked like he hadn’t slept in a few days but his green eyes lit up when he saw Sofia.

“Oh Sofia! I wasn’t expecting you so early” Lupin opened the door wider to reveal that he was in a pyjamas as well. “Please come in though!”

Sofia stepped in to Lupins office and what she saw in there could only be described as an organized mess. There was piles of books but they looked to be sorted by size, old teacups were standing on every other surfaces and on Lupins desk there were different piles of what looked like student essays.

“Sir down and I’ll make you a cup of tea” Said professor Lupin and put a kettle on the small stove that was in one corner of the room. “You’ll have to excuse the appearance today, I’ve been in bed reading until now really.”

“Oh that’s no problem professor.” Said Sofia and sat down on a wobbly wooden chair. “I have been in my pyjamas for the most of the day as well.”

“Well sometimes you just have to do what you have to cope” Said Lupin and smiled at Sofia. He then poured some steaming hot tea in the same blue teacup that she usually drunk from while she was here.

“Yeah I suppose you do” Said Sofia with a shrug. “What tea is that?”

“Green!” Replied Lupin and put the cup in front of her. “I seemed to have developed a liking to it during my older days. When I was your age I despised green tea.”

“Oh I think it’s alright” said Sofia and sipped her tea. “A little leafy maybe.”

“Leafy haha!” Said professor Lupin with a chuckle. “Good way to describe it”

As Sofia drunk her tea it seemed to warm her body up from the inside out. A nice warm feeling spread in her stomach and Sofia closed her eyes for a few seconds to enjoy the sudden pleasantness.

“It’s nice right?” Said professor Lupin and Sofia opened her eyes. “I get horribly cold during the full moons and I find that tea eases that a bit”

“Is it.. magic of some sort?” Said Sofia who was now feeling better now then she had felt since she woke up. “Because it kind of feels like it.”

“No no, it’s just tea.” Said professor Lupin and looked at Sofia with a bit of an amused look. “But I suppose a well made cup of tea can be magic in a way”

Sofia nodded enthusiastically at that.

“So, not feeling the Christmas cheer this year Sofia?” Said Lupin. “I sort of am, an old friend sent me a very nice scarf!”

“How nice for you professor, I have mostly just tried to sleep the day away” Said Sofia, not regretting being honest for once. “None of my friends are here sir and it’s quite boring without them.”

“But I do see that you have what looks like a Weasley sweater on, you must have befriended at least one of them to get that?” Said Lupin and slurped up the last of his tea.

“Oh yeah. Ginny gave it to me actually.” Said Sofia a bit surprised. “Do you know the Weasleys sir?”

“Arthur and I did some work together for a while actually” said Lupin. “And I did see Percy, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny all with letters on their jumper yesterday so I had to assume when I saw yours!”

“Well you assumed right sir.” Said Sofia and finished of her tea as well.

“Love when I do that” replied Lupin.

After that they just sat and chatted for a few hours. Lupin made at least five cups of green tea for both of them. Sofia got a bit of honey in hers but the professor preferred it without. They are biscuits, talked about the moon, Lupin told Sofia what his lesson plan was for next year and she even talked him in to showing her what grade she had gotten on her essay on grindylows. While they sat there a thought came to Sofia that if she had a dad she would want him to be like professor Lupin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is cold cold cold by cage the elephant :)


	21. Wondrous place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Her tender hands on my face  
> I'm in heaven in her embrace  
> I wanna stay and never go away  
> A wondrous place
> 
> Man, I'm nowhere  
> When I'm anywhere else  
> But I don't care  
> Everything's right when she holds me tight
> 
> Her tender hands on my face  
> I'm in heaven in her embrace  
> I wanna stay and never go away  
> A wondrous place  
> A wondrous place”

The morning after the full moon Sofia walked back to her dorm in a bad mood. She was overly tired and overall more grumpy then usual. She wasn’t usually the person to be sour with people or act rude but right now she felt if somebody talked to her she would just snap back. Both Lupin and herself had been restless and anxious in their wolf forms this time and Sofia had for the first time felt an urge to hurt herself as wolf.

Professor Lupin had told her stories of how it had been for him when he was her age. How he would scratch himself raw, how he left huge bruises and bite marks on his body. Sofia had shuddered as he talked about it. She could never imagine wanting to hurt yourself so badly. Well not until last night. It had started as a scratch in her brain. A scratch that she so badly wanted to itch. It had taken all of Sofia’s strength to keep herself from doing anything bad.

It scared her that she had been so close to loosing it. This morning Lupin had explained to her that some full moons were extra potent and that you could feel the effect of the full moon even more then usual. He told her that she needn’t worry, the wolfsbane potion made it so she kept her human mind during the transition but Sofia couldn’t help herself but doubt him a little. It had felt so close. Sofia had felt like she had been balancing on a very thin line between having her human consciousness and just becoming a wolf completely. The thoughts had felt close to intrusive and Sofia was afraid that these thoughts would stay even as she became a human again.

Sofia sighed as she walked. She was fortunately getting close to the Hufflepuff common room now and she was looking forward to spending the rest of the day curled up in her bed. She had no energy left to do anything else really. It was early morning right now and breakfast had probably just started getting served in the great hall. Sofia could feel her stomach rumble at the thought of it but she couldn’t bring herself to sit in the hall today. She felt gross, her hair was unwashed, she worn the same clothes for two days now and she was completely drained from energy.

But as Sofia entered the last corridor between her and the Hufflepuff common room her plans of just staying in bed all day were disrupted. Ginny Weasley was sitting on the floor, her back leaning towards one of the barrels. Her eyes looked to be closed and she looked almost half asleep. Sofia stepped close to Ginny to see that she had a pice of toast and a banana in her lap which warmed Sofia’s tired heart in a way that she hadn’t experienced before.

“Uhh.. Ginny?” Said Sofia hesitantly not wanting to give the girl a rude awakening. “You awake?”

“Huh? Oh Sofia!” Said Ginny and smiled at Sofia with bleary eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Why?” Said Sofia a little sourly. “It’s Boxing Day I recon you’d want to be with your brothers?”

“Oh they all have other stuff to do today” Said Ginny. “And I did want to check up you, you weren’t at the feast and then again you were absent at breakfast and Nicola wouldn’t tell me where you were.”

“That’s because I didn’t tell her.” Said Sofia still in a crappy mood. “I get migraines sometimes so I spent the night in the hospital wing”

“I’m sorry..” said Ginny, sounding a little discouraged by Sofia’s sour ways. “Well I brought you some breakfast if you want that?”

“Thank you!” Said Sofia and accepted the toast and the banana from Ginny.

They stood still for a little while after that. Neither of them seemed to know what to really say. Ginny looked a little awkward thought Sofia, she felt bad for being rude already.

“You wanna keep me company while I eat?” Asked Sofia. “I’m a little sick of being alone.”

“Yeah sure” said Ginny with a nod. “Where do you wanna sit?”

“You can come in to the common room with me if you want?” Said Sofia.

“Really????” Said Ginny with a shocked look on her face. “But I thought no outsider had been in the Hufflepuff common room in like a thousand years?”

“Oh no that can’t be true... at least I think so?” Replied Sofia. “Sometime has to be the first though so I say you should come on in!”

“If you say so” said Ginny a bit hesitantly. “But if I get killed by some security then that’s on you”

“Okay I promise I can take responsibility for your unfortunate death when it comes” said Sofia with a grin. “But let’s go I’m hungry!”

Sofia hen tapped the usual barrel with her wand and to Ginnys surprised eyes the barrels opened up to reveal an entrance. The two of them made their way through the small tunnel that led to common room.

“Wow.” Said Ginny as she looked around in the room. “This is so bomb.”

Sofia was inclined to agree to that. The room looked to be recently cleaned and everything that was made of wood in the room seemed to be shining extra bright. The plants in the room had been sorted out so instead of standing tangled in one another they were now standing nicely next to one another, some of them were even slightly swaying like they were dancing to nonexistent music. The big yellow couches looked extra fluffy and Sofia really just wanted to sink in to one as soon as she could.

“This place is just....” Said Ginny, trailing of mid sentence.

“Yeah I like it. Feels like home.” Said Sofia with a smile. She liked how Ginny looked at things. It was like she was absorbing the way things looked. Like she wanted to really see every detail of everything around her.

“I get that! Honestly I’m dying to sit in one of these couches right now!” Said Ginny and went to sit down in the couch that was closest to the fireplace. The same couch that was usually occupied by Sofia and her friends. Sofia smiled at her.

“I could spend the rest of my life just sitting in this couch.” Said Sofia and sat down next to Ginny in the couch. “I bet the Gryffindor couches can not compete with these”

“Oi! No need to talk smack about Gryffindor!” Said Ginny slightly offended. “The Gryffindor couches are perfectly acceptable.”

“Keyword acceptable!” Said Sofia teasingly. Her mood had lifted noticeably and she found spending time with Ginny made her thoughts easier to handle.

“Anyways! Have you done any of the homework this break?” Asked Ginny.

“No I couldn’t be arsed really.” Replied Sofia. “It should be a crime to hand out homework over Christmas break, aren’t you supposed to just do Christmas stuff? Not spend all day trying to write essays”

“True! These teachers are way to mean honestly” said Ginny.

After that they sat quiet for a while again but this quiet was different from the previous one. It was comfortable and nice, the two of them were just silently enjoying one another’s company as Sofia ate her toast and banana.

“I have a request” said Ginny suddenly. “But it’s going to sound a little weird...”

“When you say it like that it sounds scary”. Said Sofia as she finished the banana. “Just tell me what it is I won’t shame you or anything.”

“Alright...” said Ginny a bit hesitant. “Can I braid your hair?”

“Really? Why would you wanna do that?” Asked Sofia a bit flabbergasted. “It’s so messy”

“I think your hair is so lush and I’ve kind of always thought of what it would be like to braid it!” Said Ginny, her cheeks a little flushed. “My mum thought me how to do it when I was little and my brother has really long hair so he always let me practice on him when he was home.

Sofia had to take a moment to process. Ginny had thought about braiding her hair? That was a lot to process.

“Sure let’s do it.” Said Sofia. ”I think it’s going to be a lot of work though.

“Oh that’s no problem!” Said Ginny with a hand gesture.

After that Ginny showed her where to sit. Sofia was to sit on the floor, her back leaning towards Ginnys legs. Ginny herself sat in the couch above her and with tender fingers she started detangling Sofia’s mess of a hair. Ginny never complained or said anything about it looking bad she just worked in silence while Sofia sat still. The feeling of someone touching your hair like this was unlike anything Sofia had felt before. It made Sofia’s heart swell to have someone comb through her hair with their careful fingers. A small tear had trickled down Sofia’s cheek as they sat there and she hoped to god that Ginny didn’t see it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is wondrous place by the last shadow puppets, Alex Turner and miles Kane!


	22. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Well, holy moly, me oh my  
> You're the apple of my eye  
> Girl, I've never loved one like you  
> Man, oh man, you're my best friend  
> I scream it to the nothingness  
> There ain't nothing that I need
> 
> Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie  
> Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ  
> Ain't nothing please me more than you”

After winter break ended time seemed to pass in ultra speed for Sofia. Her days were full of friends, homework and Ginny Weasley. Sofia have become more and more familiar with Ginny and the two had gotten quite close over the past months. They would meet up at lunches, walk each other to classes, study in library together and sometimes when there was nobody was there Sofia would sneak Ginny in the Hufflepuff common room. 

Their friendship was known by all of Sofia’s friends who seemed to have unanimously decided behind Sofia’s back to not speak about the friendship. Sofia had noticed it a while ago when she had told them that she was hanging out with Ginny and didn’t get any response other then a few okays. She felt that was strange because her friends usually loved to talk about everything interesting. 

Sofia didn’t hate that her friends didn’t talk to her about Ginny though. She didn’t know how to answer the questions they would ask her. She didn’t know what she would say if they asked her why she was hanging out with that strange Gryffindor who rumor said snogged Voldemort in the chamber of secrets. Because the only answer she could think of was that she liked the way she felt when she was with Ginny. She liked how easy life felt. It was as if everything around her just eased up when she was around Ginny. All of Sofia’s worries and anxiety seemed to float away when she was with Ginny. It was just so easy. 

One thing that remained an issue was the whole werewolf thing though. Sofia had avoided telling Ginny and all of her friends about it for almost the whole school year now. Susan knew about it, of course. And Sofia was pretty sure that Sol was suspecting something as well. The boy seemed to at least be investigating why Sofia disappeared one day a month because one time he asked her 

“How do you feel about the moon?”

Sofia had answered back

“Oh I love the moon, it’s the prettiest thing on the night sky by far and I hate how long it takes for the moon to get full every month.”

At the time she had thought that was a solid answer but now she felt she could have given him a more subtle answer. 

Anyways, the full moons had been going well these past months and Sofia hadn’t really been dreading them lately the way she had for most of her life. Full moons these months meant that she got to spend time with her now favorite teacher. Professor Lupin. He would write her notes to excuse her from classes the day of the full moon so that they could just sit in his office and drink tea. He would tell her stories from his life and from when he was a kid and Sofia would marvel over how little of life she had experienced. The stories that Lupin told were almost always light hearted stories about his adventures in life. It seemed to Sofia sometimes that the man purposely excluded telling her about any of the hardships he had endured in the world as a werewolf. She didn’t mind though, she felt like she didn’t need to know yet about the terrible things that might lie in her future. 

During the last full moon Professor had started telling her the complicated story about how he and his friends during his school years managed to get a whole year of detention. This apparently because they had flipped over the tables in the great hall. The professor had never finished his story but had promised to do it the next full moon. This happened to be today which was the reason Sofia was thinking about it at the moment. It was Saturday and her, Susan, Zacharias and Hannah were sitting under a three that was close to the lake. Susan had her nose buried in a muggle book and Ernie and Hannah were playing some game with their hands. Sofia herself was slaying on her back and looking up at the clouds. The day had been nice when she first woke up, the sky was blue and the sun had been ahi but now it had turned gloomy. The air felt a bit heavy and the grey clouds on the sky above her felt like they were going to fall down on her anytime. 

Sofia was contemplating at what time she should leave when her thoughts got interrupted by Susan. 

“Hey what time are you leaving?” Asked Susan and put down her book. “I’ll walk with you”

“I’m thinking in an hour maybe?” Said Sofia and rolled over on her stomach. “You don’t have to walk with me it’s not far away really” 

Susan frowned at this. “You know I still feel guilty for missing your birthday!” Said Susan a little bit guilty. “I wanna make it up to you as much as I can before we leave for summer break” 

“Pffff Susan that was literally in February and you have compensated for it more then necessary already more then necessary” said Sofia and rolled over on her back again, feeling the grass tickle her back through her thin t shirt. 

“Still...” said Susan and Sofia sighed. This conversation had happened many times before. 

Sofia’s birthday hadn’t been a dramatic affair, the third years had a big test the same day so her and Sol had sneaked in to the kitchens to steal some cookies and sandwiches. The two of them had spent the day together in one of the greenhouses, skipping class, just eating and talking about everything and nothing at all. Susan, Sofia’s poor cousin had done so poorly on her test that she had gone to her dorm for a nap as soon as it ended and the girl hadn’t woken up until it was 2 am and Sofia’s birthday was long over. Susan had felt so horrible about it that she couldn’t stop crying at the sight of Sofia for almost two days. After that she bought Sofia at least ten different gifts in different sizes. Sofia had to tell Susan at least twenty times that it was okay before the girl stopped buying her stuff. 

“It was pretty crazy that you missed her birthday Susan” said Zacharias lazily. “You raved about it for a week before it happened and then you just forgot?”

“Shut up!!!” Exclaimed Sofia annoyed and sat up. “You are not helping stupid” 

Zacharias just waved his hand at her lazily. He was currently laying with his head on Hannah’s thigh and was fiddling with a pice of her long hair that was touching his face. 

“Ugh!! Look at you two disgustingly sweet people!” Said Sofia and frowned deeply. “ I can’t stand looking at you two, Come on Susan let’s go.”

Sofia stood up and extended a hand to her cousin who gladly took it. Hannah and Zacharias both grimaced at them as they left. 

“I think you owe me two galleons! Or maybe I owe you..?” Said Sofia as they walked. “I don’t know we never really agreed on how that bet we made last winter would work.”

“Oh that’s right!” Said Susan thoughtfully. “Maybe we take those four galleons and spend them on huge ice-creams for the both of us. Since we are such good prophets I mean”

“Sounds perfect to me” Said Sofia and brushed of some grass from her jeans as they walked. The grass had left some green patches on her pants but she didn’t mind to much. 

“How are you feeling though?” Asked Susan carefully. “Today being the last moon before break and all”

“I’m feeling good Suzy.” Said Sofia. “It’s gonna just as well as the other times with professor Lupin.” 

“Yeah I think so as well” said Susan while sounding a bit thoughtful. “Will see each other this summer?”

“Suzy you know how my mum feels” Said Sofia. “We can write and maybe I can convince her that I can come over to your place at the end of the summer but that’s it.”

“Alright” answered Susan without saying anything more about it. 

The two walked a bit in silence. The Hogwarts halls were as good as empty today. Since it was a weekend and almost summer most of the students spent their days outside or in their common rooms doing everything but homework. 

“Well here we are then” said Sofia as she and Susan were standing outside of Lupins office. “I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

“Knock on the door first Sofia” said Susan, her eyes a bit narrowed. “I wanna see if he’s there before I leave.” 

“Gahh.. what are you on about of course he’s there” said Sofia a bit annoyed at her at times over bearing cousin. 

“Just do it Sofia” said Susan, persistent as ever. 

“Fine fine I’ll do it.” Said Sofia and knocked on the door.

They waited for 30 seconds, then a minute and then five. 

“That’s weird..?” Said Sofia and looked at her cousin. 

Sofia raised her hand and knocked on the door again but this time with a bit more force. But right as she did it the door opened it self. Sofia gave her cousin a look before carefully opening the office door a bit. 

“Professor Lupin...?” The office was completely empty. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! It’s been a while since last. To be honest with you all, I’ve been really unmotivated to write this but I’m hoping to be back on track now! Hope your still enjoying!


	23. Still ill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Does the body rule the mind  
> Or does the mind rule the body?  
> I don't know
> 
> Ask me why, and I'll die  
> Oh, ask me why, and I'll die  
> And if you must, go to work tomorrow  
> Well, if I were you I really wouldn't bother  
> For there are brighter sides to life  
> And I should know, because I've seen them  
> But not very often”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Fair warning before you read the last part of this chapter. It includes descriptions of violence/violence against yourself so don’t read it if your sensitive to things like that! Take care of yourselves!

He wasn’t there. Professor Lupin wasn’t there and the sun was going to come down in an hour. Panic was starting to spread through Sofia’s body and the only thing she could get herself to do was stare helplessly at her cousin. Susan was just standing there, looking a bit dumbfounded. 

“Suzy...? What do I do???” Asked Sofia. She felt out of breath. “He’s not here Suzy I don’t know what I’m gonna do” 

“We go and find Professor Snape” said Susan and grabbed her cousins hand. “He’ll know how to take care of this.”

Sofia let herself get dragged through the Hogwarts halls by her cousin. Later as she would think back to this moment she would find herself to be incredibly thankful for the fast acting of her cousin. But right now all she could think of was that she was gonna turn in to a werewolf in the middle of the castle and kill all of the students there. She was going to get arrested and they were probably going to let the dementors kiss her. She figured that would be a suitable punishment for the crimes she was probably going to commit in the future. 

“Sofia we are here” Said Susan and waved her hand in front of Sofia’s face. “You okay?”

“Yeah sorry” answered Sofia and stared at the tall metal door in front of her. “Let’s knock on the door” 

Susan nodded to that and stepped forward to knock on the door. She knocked one time, then a second, then a third and then a forth. Nobody came to the door. Sofia stepped forward to feel if the door was unlocked but it stayed closed when she tried to push it open. 

“Merlin” whispered Sofia. “Suzy what do I do now?” 

“We go to Professor Sprouts office” Said Susan with determination. 

Once against Susan grabbed a hold of her cousin and started dragging her from the dungeons to Sprouts office. It wasn’t a long walk since the professors office was just on the floor above the dungeons. The two cousins made their way there in just about five minutes and Susan instantly went to knock on the round wooden door. This time they seemed to have struck gold because within a minute their grey haired herbology teacher opened the door to her office. Professor looked at the two of them with a very surprised face. 

“Susan? What are you doing here on a Saturday? And Sofia? You shouldn’t be here at all!?” Said Sprout with Confusion. 

“I’m sorry Professor Sprout but we need your help.” Started Susan. “We went to Professor Lupins office but he wasn’t there. Then we went to Professor Snapes office down in the dungeons and he wasn’t there either. We didn’t know what to do so we came here!”

“Oh merlin! Come on in fast!” Said the professor and waved at the two of them to step in to her office. “This most irresponsible of both the professors I must say.”

“Do you know how to help my cousin?” Asked Susan she she stepped in to Sprouts office still with Sofia’s hand in a tight grip. “She’s scared of what’s to happen so I believe that’s why she’s not talking much.” 

“Oh I see. Well I’m afraid we can only solve this in one way.” Started Sprout as she sat down behind her desk. She hesitated a bit before speaking again. “Do you know about your cousins.. problem?” 

“Yes she does” spoke Sofia finally. The shock had left her body a bit now that the professor was here. “She’s known all along.”

“Oh I see, then I can speak freely.” The professor looked serious as she spoke. “Sofia you are going to have to go through this full moon unmedicated. I don’t have the wolfsbane potion at hand and I have now idea where Professor Snape could be. But what I do have is a room to lock you in and a wand that can put enough protection charms on the room so that you won’t be able to claw your way out.”

Sofia gulped. Professor Lupin had spoken once very briefly about how painful it was to go through a full moon without the wolfsbane potion in your system. All he had said was that it was a pain that he would never forget. Just that had been enough to give Sofia nightmares.

“Will it be awfully painful Professor Sprout?” Asked Susan as if she was thinking the same thoughts as Sofia. “I worry a lot about my cousin”

“That’s kind of you Susan, I’m not sure how painful it will be” said the professor with a bit of a sad smile. “I have talked to a very few werewolf’s in my time but the ones I have spoken to told me that it depended on how much self control they had at the time.”

Sofia gulped yet again. It felt like her heart was in her throat. 

“So just try to keep it together and I’m sure it won’t be very painful.” Said Professor Sprout and gave Sofia a smile. Sofia herself wanted to puke right there. 

“Anyways to be safe let’s lock you up right alway.” Said the professor in a playful tone. “We wouldn’t want anything bad to happen tonight.”

Sofia nodded and Sprout showed her in to a small room that the professor seemed to be using for storage. There was piles of books and a few plants that didn’t seem to be doing to well. 

“I’ll stay in my office tonight so I can open the door for you as soon as I can tomorrow morning.” Said the professor. “Please don’t be too hard on yourself tonight Sofia.” 

Sofia nodded at the professor as she closed the door. The room was now pitch black and Sofia was left wondering about the professors last words. Why would she be hard on herself? Wasn’t that a weird thing to say? Sofia felt anxious and her body felt itchy. The change was coming soon. She could feel it. She could feel it more then usual. It was like her whole body was aching. Oh how Sofia felt angry at Professor Lupin. How could he leave her like this? Sofia felt more and more annoyed as the time passed. 

Why would Lupin leave her to be on her own like this? Did he mean to harm her? Sofia was going to scream at him the next time she saw him. She could picture punching his stupid face right now.

Sofia felt a pain starting to spread in her body. It started slow and careful. Like it wanted to take it’s time and not leave a single part of her body alone. Then it grew more intense. It grew so intense that Sofia was now on the floor, rolling around trying in vain to move away from the pain. Then the pain grew more intense. It felt as if Sofia was nothing but pain. She couldn’t feel her body changing or the fur growing on her. All she could feel was a searing hot pain in her body as she turned in to a werewolf that she wasn’t in control of for the first time of her life. 

It was unbearable. The urge to hurt someone, anyone was the strongest thing Sofia had ever felt. She wanted to kill, she wanted to kill something alive. She could smell the blood on the other side of the door but there was no way of getting there so she just started clawing on herself instead. Inflicting pain on herself seemed to calm the urge for blood so she continued. She continued until she felt it her easier to control. She continued until she felt like she was more of herself. She paid no notice to the long claw marks she left on her body, she paid no notice to the hits of fur she bit of her self and she paid no notice to how much her body gutted as she threw herself against the walls of the room in futile attempts to calm her urge to kill somebody. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is still ill by the smiths :)


	24. Heaven knows I’m miserable now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In my life  
> Why do I give valuable time  
> To people who don't care if I live or die?
> 
> Two lovers entwined pass me by  
> And heaven knows I'm miserable now
> 
> I was looking for a job, and then I found a job  
> And heaven knows I'm miserable now”

The morning after that awful night passed in a haze for Sofia. She barely remembered waking up before she fell asleep again. She hadn’t felt much pain, just an odd feeling that she lacked control of her body. Her fingers wouldn’t move when she tried to move them and her body wouldn’t obey her when she tried to roll on her side. 

Sofia would later find out that this was a bad sign. She had been in a terrible condition when Professor Sprout found her that morning. She hadn’t been allowed to hear all the details of what happened to her that night, according to Madame Pomfrey that would just “add to the shock”. 

Madame Pomfrey had been the first one to speak to her as she woke up a couple of days after the full moon. She had been sitting at her bedside and she had smiled at her as Sofia opened her bleary eyes for the first time in four days. Then she had explained to her why Sofia was now at home in her bed instead of at Hogwarts. Apparently her condition had been so critical that she had spent two days at st mungos and then been sent straight home after that. Madame Pomfrey had told her that there was no use in sending Sofia back to school since there was only a few days left of the term and her condition right now would make it hard for her to enjoy the last few days of term. 

Sofia was inclined to agree on the last one. Her body felt like jelly most of the time. Her legs would wobble as she stood up and if she tried to walk her body would start to ache which was far more unpleasant then feeling like Jelly. 

Madame Pomfrey came to visit Sofia once every day for a week after that. She brought her potions and draughts that she said would ease her pain and make it easy for her to fall sleep. Sofia happily accepted. During that week she stayed in her bed for most of the time, reading books and playing board games with the house elf Iggy. Sofia saw her mother one time during that week. 

Amelia had knocked on her door one Thursday afternoon. She had looked just as put together as she usually did. Not one strand of hair seemed to be out of place and the glasses that rested on the bridge of her nose were polished to perfection. 

“How are you feeling” was the first thing Amelia said to her child as she stood a bit awkward by the door.

“I’m okay I suppose” had Sofia replied and put down her book. “Could be worse, could be better”

“Glad to hear it” Had Amelia replied with tiniest of smiles. “Your last day of term is tomorrow, so I’ll have Iggy bake a nice cake for you”

“Oh she doesn’t have to” Replied Sofia, feeling slightly guilty over how much the poor house elf was doing now that she was home. 

“Nonsense. You finished your second year at Hogwarts and for that you deserve a good cake” Said Amelia with her stern voice. “I won’t be home but I’ll tell Iggy about it today”

Sofia nodded to that, feeling slightly disappointed. Something that she later reprimanded herself for. Why was she feeling disappointed when this was nothing out of the ordinary? Her mother had a lot to do at work she knew that. 

“I’ll be going now.” Said Amelia, still standing by the door. “Have a good day tomorrow and don’t use the owl for anything, I might need him for work”

Sofia nodded and suddenly her conversation with her mum was over. This felt like the beginning to a very lonely summer thought Sofia as she picked up her book on herbology. 

The next day Iggy the house left delivered a spectacular cake to Sofia’s room. The cake had four layers and it had been decorated by green plants made of marzipan. The plant’s were of different sizes and the biggest one must have been as tall as Sofia’s hand. 

“I know that mistress is a Hufflepuff and all of the Hufflepuffs like plants” said Iggy the house elf as she fiddled with her thumbs. “Isn’t that right mistress Sofia?”

“You are right Iggy!” Replied Sofia with joy. “The cake is fantastic, please have some as well” 

“Are you sure mistress? Iggy asks because Iggy mustn’t overstep any boundaries” asked Iggy with surprise on her face. 

“I’m sure Iggy. Please have some.” Said Sofia as she helped herself to a pice of the cake. 

Sofia was ate the cake in her bed, with the blue cover over her legs while Iggy sat on the window alcove. The small elf was shivering with joy as she ate her cake and Sofia felt delighted to see it. The sky outside was blue, Sofia was eating a very nice cake and the book she was reading was mildly interesting. This was looking to be one of the best days this week. 

What was Sofia going to do for the rest of the break? Thoughts wandered through her head she finished her cake. There was almost two months of free time and she had absolutely nothing to fill that time up. She couldn’t help but sigh. 

“Something wrong mistress?” Asked Iggy, instantly sounding worried. “Should Iggy not have eaten the cake? Does mistress think the cake tastes bad?”

“No Iggy the cake was great” Replied Sofia. “I just have other things on my mind.”

“Just as thoughtful as her mother” said Iggy. “Should I take the cake back to the kitchen mistress?” 

“Oh yeah, do that” Replied Sofia thoughtfully, she hadn’t really listened to what Iggy was saying so when the elf disappeared with a smack she flinched a bit. 

Two months of boredom. That’s what it was going to be. Sofia could already feel it. Maybe it was a good thing though. She had no energy to explain to her friends or anyone else what had happened to her. And she didn’t have any energy to explain the long scar that ran over almost half of her face. Sofia found it hard to think about what her friends would think about her scars. Most specifically she found it hard to think about Ginny Weasley and what she would say when she looked at her now scarred face. 

Sofia hadn’t gotten around to look in a mirror since she came back from Hogwarts but she could feel her new scars. There was the one on her face, it ached a bit still if she ran her fingers on it. Then there was a few marks on her hip. Those felt smaller then the one on her face. Then there was the three long scars on her chest. Those felt the worst. They were rough and hurt if Sofia touched them. They made it hard for her to sit up without her chest hurting. Sofia felt thoroughly annoyed at her wolf self. She couldn’t for the life of her understand why and how the wolf could tear at it’s own chest just like that. 

Other then that Sofia felt alright. She wouldn’t call herself happy. But she wouldn’t call herself sad either. What she was feeling was more melancholy than anything else. She was tired a lot and she would with the help of Madame Pomfreys potions fall asleep at eight pm almost every night. Most often her sleep was deep and dreamless but sometimes she dreamt of the same mountains and castles she would dream of while she was at Hogwarts. The nights when Sofia dreamt was her favorites, she often woke up feeling a sense of comfort, like she knew that somebody was looking out for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is heaven knows I’m miserable now by the smiths :)


	25. Let it happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All this running around  
> I can't fight it much longer  
> Something's tryin' to get out  
> And it's never been closer  
> If my take-off fails  
> Make up some other story  
> But if I never come back  
> Tell my mother I'm sorry“

Sofia was having the worst summer of her life. She had never in her life been this bored before. Not even the most boring history lecture could compare to this. 

Sofia had no contact with her friends and now way to contact them either. Her mother used their owl constantly for work, the poor thing was in a constant state of exhaustion. Sofia’s friends had their own owls though, but they hadn’t bothered to send her any letters for the past 6 weeks. They were probably busy having fun and being busy without her. At least that was Sofia’s theory on why she hadn’t gotten any letters these past weeks. 

Sofia had talked to her mother about three times these past weeks. One time was at dinner, if you could even call it dinner. Sofia had been sitting alone in the kitchen, eating soup that Iggy had made for her when she saw a copy of The Daily Prophet laying on the chair her mother usually sat in. She had just about picked it up and read the first sentence when it got snatched from her hands. 

“Don’t read things like that” was all that Susan Bones said before going back to her office. 

That’s how most of Sofia’s encounters with her mum went. Her mum was always on her way somewhere or doing something important. The stern facial expression that her mum so often had on her face seemed to be more and more permanent. 

So Sofia had next to none human contact with humans or the world for six weeks and sometimes she felt like she was going insane. Her emotions felt like a never ending rollercoaster of hell and she had so many thoughts in her head at all times.

Some days waking up felt heavy and she would spend the whole day in her bed, like in a daze. Those days felt clouded and grey. Those days Sofia didn’t like looking in the mirror either. She was scared to her see her own scarred face look back at her with dark eyes. She didn’t like how ghostly she looked these days. Her hair was grey next to white, her skin was pale, she had dark circles under her eyes that never seemed to go away no matter how much she slept. She had been eating less then usual as well and had lost some weight in her face that made her facial features seem so pointy. To her it looked like her cheek bones were sticking out almost. 

No, Sofia preferred not looking in the mirror these days. Her mind was busy enough already, she didn’t feel any need to worry about how ugly she felt. 

Some days she was angry and full of energy. She was angry at her mom, her friends and especially Professor Lupin. That stupid man. He was the reason Sofia now had a ugly scar in her face. God, just thinking about made her blood starting to boil. 

Some days she was happy though. When the sun was out, the grass was green and Iggy made Lemonade for her to enjoy out on their porch. These days Sofia would spend reading whatever book she had found and play chess with Iggy. She had recently found this excellent book which included a lot of muggle swear words. Sofia had carefully made a list of all of them so she could remember saying them to Professor Lupin when she met him the next time. 

Sometimes Sofia thought about her dad as well. She wondered a lot what kind of person he had been. Had he been a good father? Would he continue being a good father if he was still alive? Maybe he would have been the same way as her mum, always rushing of to doimportant things. Sofia liked to think differently though. She imagined a dad that took care of her, a dad that would read to her when she was sick, a dad that would bake her a cake on her birthday, a dad that would brew her tea when she wasn’t feeling well and a dad that sat at the kitchen table every morning with breakfast all ready for her. Those thoughts often brought a smile to Sofia’s lips. She liked this imaginary dad that she made up in her mind. She didn’t mind not finding out more about him either, she felt quite content with the image she had of her dad in her head. 

The full moon had went by without much of a fuss. Sofia had been scared out of her mind the days before it but she woke up the morning of the full moon there was a bottle of wolfsbane potion standing on the dinner table. Sofia had managed to forget the enormous wolfsbane potion storage that her mum had. After that she calmed down considerably. The transition had been just as uncomfortable as per usual but the rest of the night had been spent comfortably in Sofia’s own bed. She had managed to pull the covers over her body and then rolled up in a ball of fur. It had been alright. The days after were rough though. Her body had ached and the scars on her body hurt if she even brushed her fingers over them. 

Sofia honestly didn’t know what she was going to do when school started again. A part of her wanted to ignore her friends and live a life of eternal solitude. Another part of her wanted nothing more then friends right now. Another part of her couldn’t stop thinking about Ginny Weasley. Her face popped up in Sofia’s thoughts at least three times a day. Sofia wondered how she was doing, if her break was going good and if she worried about her. For some odd reason Sofia didn’t find herself to be just as mad at Ginny as she was at the rest of her friends despite the fact that Ginny hadn’t written her anything either. She just didn’t have in it her to be mad at Ginny ever probably. 

Another part of Sofia was utterly terrified to go back to school. She was terrified at the reactions people were going to have when they looked at her. People were probably think she was a freak now. And she was going to embarrass her mum and her cousin for looking like that and daring to be a part of the Bones family. 

That’s why Sofia was turning and tossing in her bed tonight. She was going back to Hogwarts tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is let it happen by Tame Impala :)


End file.
